Broccoli soup for the soul

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There are two reasons i have gone vegetarian, sort of. One, meat makes me fat. Full stop. It also makes me confused. Like alcohol. The other is we get this veg bag from John McCormick every week and i have about twenty tonnes of veg to go through. So i have started making lots of soup.

I was thinking of you know, the usual shite while i was in the sauna. I was thinking ... well, we have two choices when faced with suffering we lie down and die or we go on. If we go on we need to do so with grace and beauty or else you might as well not go on cos you'll make every one else's life hell, and what is the point of that? Then i thought - when Jesus died he redeemed our sins. Well, i don't really believe that - but it is possibly a very extreme way of creating a metaphor - of giving each of us a new chance. A new opportunity. We are free to choose - we are given a new opportunity every moment of every second of every minute of the day to... become who we are supposed to be. I know this is obvious - but really, it has not been so obvious to me over the last few weeks, if not months.

So regardless of suffering we need to choose the life of grace, courage and beauty. And perhaps that is the point of suffering. I can't really see any other explaination - unless i have an hour's clinic with God, i ain't getting any answers.

If i did have an hour's clinic with God, i would ask: Why create us with the capacity to suffer? Why not just make us innured to suffering when it does happen and able to enjoy life. That would be the Epicurian doctrine? Enjoy life now cos tomorrow we will die. And when we are dead it all ends. Wonderful. Selfish.

So that would be question one. Why enable us to act like shits? Actually this question is easy to answer. People act like shits because they can't help it. Because they can't accept who they really are. so they end up creating this bizarre narrative and when it all comes to pieces, when someone says, hey i think that's not quite right, then they act like a shit.

Why give us a choice? Why not just enable us to be perfect? In the greater scheme of things, what is the point? Steiner has answer to this as well, which has to do with cosmic evolution, but unless you buy into that, then - well...what his explaination does help you to do is to be sensible when making those choices. So, for instance, if i had followed Steiner's advice, i would be not suffering. What i would be is in a state of non-suffering - but i would also be utterly and totally BORED.

Such dilemmas.

Anyhow - today i'm doing the Main Lesson block planning and the music curriculum. Hoping to get the children to do some basic reading - those who can already read, some basic writing - perhaps starting to write letters to each other. That would be great. Yep, planning start now. Just the one more bowl of soup and an orange and i'll be sorted.

I lost another kilo this week, btw :-)

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