When we were in
Annalong, the proprietor of the Glassdrumman Inn told us to go along the High Mourne driving route. This took us to Spelga and the first of that mad wonderful snow we have cme to loathe over the last feww weeks. But on the way into Newcastle, we passed this weird place which i had never heard of before. Tollymore National Outdoors Activity Centre. curious, i went in and was immediately AMAZED. It was this totally state-of-the-art facility which catered for outdoorsy types. If you wanted qualification in kayaking, or orienteering or mountaincliming or rock climbing or being a completely crazy person who thinks frost bite andrisking parts of your anatomy for an aredenalin rush are a good idea, then this is a place for you to do it.
Of course i immediately asked where i could sign up and was disappointed to discover that they didn't do organised acitivites as such, but rather was like a training centre that did school bookings, etc.
HOWEVER they did have an Easter programme, and after much faffing i managed to book us on an Easter Family Forest Walk. Yesterday was probably the first day of spring really so it was totally perfect. After lunch at this wonderful Italian place in Newcastle - and a mini adventure bus ride for Oisin and Nathan - we headed to Tollymore - the boys had a complete blast. A two hour walk in and along streams, under drain pipes, along the beautiful Shimna, which i had never seen before and wall to wall sunshine.
Here are some photos;
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| What was left of the snow |
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| Oisin and Nathan dive into the wood sorrel |
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| Lovely walk amongst the birches |
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| Out of a drain pipe |
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| The Mournes in the snow - sooo beautiful |
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| Sharing white chocolate and walnut brownies |
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| Me and the boys |
It is interesting happiness. Today i felt miserable again. And i said to Oisin, who reminded me i was happy yesterday, that happiness was indeed kinda a crazy thing. One should be ... not happy...but i dunno, what should one be?
I was contemplating the WHY should we suffer? Why are human beings designed to swing like monkeys off a monkey puzzle tree in this bizarre manner? Why do we allow other people to do this to us? I came to the comclusion that this is an imponderable. For this reason religion was invented. Honestly, why should we suffer? Imagine if we did not suffer. Have i met anyone who has not suffered? Not really, no. someone untouched by pain? Nope. I have met people who have overcome pain, who have withstood it, who have... etc. etc. but been through shit and gone, yep, didn't feel that - nope.
So why? Why should we feel ill? I thought ok, when we are sick - we get ill, we fall ill, we have terrible diseases, and we suffer and then, hopefully, we get better after that. After we get better then we...go back to normal - yes? So what was the point?
Do we suffer so we can acquire wisdom? Do we suffer and then through our survival we give others hope? Like Jesus. I thought of Mary watching him being crucified - is there anything WORSE than a parent watching their child suffer and be helpless to do anything about it?
She was not thinking - yes he is the son of god and he will rise again after three days and then start a world religion. Nope. She was thinking - my darling darling son - and her heart was being ripped into shreds.
So, after thinking about this for awhile i thought, there is no point really. Steiner says we have this capacity to swing so that we can stand upright in freedom. As human beings we can choose to be free. Our life is about choice - and to choose wisely, to ask the right questions, to work with intuition, and to build the cosmos in our doing so. I think i might have to look long and hard at what took place last year and be honest with myself about the kind of person i was.
Perhaps we suffer so we can be better people. I have to say that being a better person in now way means people walking over you and being a doormat. That phase of my life is gone for now. It is a bit of a shock to the people who became used to this, but well...i have discovered the last thing you must do is to not be who you weren't meant to be. You need to become better at being who you are. I hope that this year i will truly, finally after five long years of doormatism, throw off those ridiculous shackles and choose freedom. The terror and the truth of it.
I did feel REALLY tired today, but one foot before the other - walk. Plus the sun is shining. Life IS a blessing, we are blessed. We suffer so that we may survive. And in doing so become the people we are meant to be. The stake becomes a stave. It is only a hypothesis.
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