What exactly is so bad about being 40?
Now, somebody has to explain to me this... what is so awful about being 40? As i near the end of the first year of my fourth decade, i have to say that i have had a great 40. I think i may have been born 40 and for the first time in my life feel the correct age i am supposed to be, but 40 just rocks. It is at 40 that life became an art, not just a stumble fumble. I seem to have grabbed myself by the scruff my my neck and gone, you alright? Let us do this together. Yes, that is the only way i can describe it. Perhaps it is doing the Stiner course, but it feels like all my bodies are more or less doing the same thing at the same time. And it feels good.
This does not exempt me from the falling flat on the face moments. But at 40, these moments are not greeted with hysteria on my part, but ah well, pick yerself up dust yerself off, and get on with it. And not in a lip quivering, oh look at me i'm so brave way either, but a sort of very matter of fact look here, this is has happened before and it will happen again, but you can do this. And it doesn't mean that i' not shit scared and horribly disappointed when these things take place, but it does mean that for the first time they are not the all-consuming, histronic playbills they once used to be. And i am soooooo relived.
Perhaps it's like my mom would say, sudah tua. (Already old). No more energy. But really it's not like i have no more energy, but i would just rather have my energy directed to more constructive things than entertaining demons. And it doesn't mean that i don't entertain demons, but it just feels like after a short visit, i can tell them to now leave, rather than have them throwing an all-nighter in the basement and leaving the place the wreck the next day.
So 40... for anyone going, oh 40 is awful, or i dread being 40, or i'm (whatever negative feeling here) 40.... let me say, it all happens now. And you have everything to look forward to. And i can't wait to see the next 40. If i'm that lucky.
The scent of pine from the logs and advent wreath, the shiny new woven basket, fire glowing, the rain outside, the children in bed... tell me, oh tell me, of these perfectly formed blessings.
This does not exempt me from the falling flat on the face moments. But at 40, these moments are not greeted with hysteria on my part, but ah well, pick yerself up dust yerself off, and get on with it. And not in a lip quivering, oh look at me i'm so brave way either, but a sort of very matter of fact look here, this is has happened before and it will happen again, but you can do this. And it doesn't mean that i' not shit scared and horribly disappointed when these things take place, but it does mean that for the first time they are not the all-consuming, histronic playbills they once used to be. And i am soooooo relived.
Perhaps it's like my mom would say, sudah tua. (Already old). No more energy. But really it's not like i have no more energy, but i would just rather have my energy directed to more constructive things than entertaining demons. And it doesn't mean that i don't entertain demons, but it just feels like after a short visit, i can tell them to now leave, rather than have them throwing an all-nighter in the basement and leaving the place the wreck the next day.
So 40... for anyone going, oh 40 is awful, or i dread being 40, or i'm (whatever negative feeling here) 40.... let me say, it all happens now. And you have everything to look forward to. And i can't wait to see the next 40. If i'm that lucky.
The scent of pine from the logs and advent wreath, the shiny new woven basket, fire glowing, the rain outside, the children in bed... tell me, oh tell me, of these perfectly formed blessings.
Comments