2.8.25 - 18 more days

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Last night




As I mentioned... 

Last night I told Ghin about this side of the family. I said you are gonna need to be prepared for people saying idiotic things to you. Just be prepared that they will say foolish insensitive things... and I told him a bit about the background of the family. 

Most people have very dysfunctional families. It is no wonder that migration is a thing. Why do people leave? They leave because the people whom they are supposed to consider their most trusted and loving support systems are toxic and nuts. So they leave.

I do not think there is a SINGLE PERSON whom I know that has had a family which is straight forward. They are all damaged and compromised in some shape. Families are nuts. The levels of expectation are totally unrealistic.

Anyway - I have decided that I'm going to, even if I did move back here temporarily - that I will be keeping the house in Ardmore because I will need the out. It just makes sense. Oisin can stay in it. Whatever. 

I ran this morning and I'm doing 70 sit ups now. I haven't really run for even a month. I'm not sure how long I will take to get back to the fitness levels which I hope to. But it has made some difference. I hoisted myself out of the swimming pool yesterday using just my arms. Instead of the ladder. And that is something I couldn't do last month. I swam last night as well. It was sublime. Swimming in the night. So still and so peaceful. I am really enjoying the club so much. 

It's so busy now the club. It used to be very quiet and peaceful but its now buzzing... it certainly was last night anyway.

Singapore. A strange place. A place which I could never feel at home in. A place which demanded my loyalty and insisted that I comply - all the time. A place which was alienating and continues to alienate. A place in which there seems to be so many stories that never fit together at all. So strange.

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