23.8.25 - Seven more days

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Holywood photo - not mine

It was nice to be back yesterday. The first 24 hours. I got up at 2 am and did some blogging. Then I went for a run at 6.30 am - I watched some Sandman and fell asleep. Which is appropriate enough I guess. No. After the run, I did a shop, went to print out the things which I plan to be doing in August and then came back and did them. I also checked my account and it was better than I expected. Which will make doing the accounts better today. Then I watched Sandman and fell asleep. It is very slow and tedious. Honestly. I also tried watching Squid Games and Wednesday. It was all very boring. I couldn't not get into any of them at all. I think I'm getting too old for this shit.

Ghin came over for chacuterie lunch and then fell asleep. I then fell asleep. Around 4 pm. I did get up a couple of times. And now I'm wide away. Right on time. Right on cue. I have mostly given up trying to right myself with jetlag. I know it will just work itself out.

I have been burning the kemenyian. It smells so wonderful. The incense and the kemenyian. It smells great. I don't know what's happened to Emma. I'm going to call over today, later.

There are 7 days left in August. I'm going to reread the schedule I printed out and then rectify anything I haven't done. I think I might change the order of the rooms I'm organising. It doesn't matter, as long as I'm organising something.

I'm so glad I did my run yesterday. Running at 6.30 am here means I'm running at 1.30 pm there, which is what I would have done from time to time. And I only managed 50 sit ups because I didn't have the sit up bench... so my thighs were also working. But no matter... I will increase the amount bit by bit. 

Can I complain about life?

I also have four children to interview next week. This should be fun.

It is no longer about hard work, but pleasure. My life is now my own. It feels like I lead a double life. When I was in Singapore I was very much at the beck and call of Ma, which is fine. Here... I am my own. Ma needed me, and I am happy to be there for her, just as she was always there for me. 

More than happy. 

I did some writing trying to process my observations about Pa as well. I now know where my allergy for unsolicited help comes from - it comes from him. I can see now that while he was trying to be helpful, it was also all about control. The helping made him feel important and in control. I also know that he loved us completely and got very angry when he couldn't help us or if I refused his help. Somehow I internalised this without knowing and I saw this this time round. He was the helpful person. We were the ones to be helped. With the roles reversed...

Eating wise... I am eating at home now. It was weird how much people ate out and were unable to cook... or if there was cooking it was mostly the maids which did the cooking. I made a chicken salad yesterday with lots of carrots and baby leaf lettuces. And later we got nice bread form Lidl which was only £2.59. Like REALLY nice bread. 

We got some great chacuterie and had a feast - and we have enough now for several days worth of eating.

Yesterday was day 35 of running since I started again in July. I ran for 35 minutes. I'm hoping this will continue for the rest of the year. I would love nothing better than to be in shape once again.

So, seven more days to teaching times again. I love the way in which the entire day is still mine. I'm heading to school tomorrow to start class prep. I didn't go in yesterday, I was too terrified. I just got my schedules and the class curriculum printed out.

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