4.6.25 - Day #3

I am sure that Rocamadour was the inspiration for Minas Tirith. It was tremendous when I got there. I couldn't believe it. How did the people do this? The act of laboriously taking each stone and shaping it, then stacking it, one on top of the other... people just had this sense of beauty in their very bones.

I am so grateful I got to see it. Honestly, it was so tremendous. That capped the entire thing for me, the trip to Bordeaux. Plus I left my shoes in Rocamadour. Maybe one day I will return.

It is Day 3 of the 'fast'. I say fast, but it's not really a fast. It's eating at 3 pm. Yesterday I did have something of a meal. Chops, miso soup and some Jamon Iberico. It was great. I had something to drink - tea with milk. Half a pineapple. A handful of cashew nuts.

So not a lot, but something. 

Nearly 20 hours of a fast. Yeah.

I'm not hungry, its strange. Maybe my body is just used to this now. It's interesting to see how little we can survive on. That hunger is something which we can bear.

I think of the Gazans. I think of the people who have no food and I am ashamed.

I also do know that I cannot continue eating ad infinitum. There are times where I have had accidentally fasted. When I was sick or when I was sad. But it is good to fast. Good to let the digestion rest.

This is also Day 3 of the digital detox. I don't take the phone to bed. The phone thing started with the Gazan genocide. So it's been almost 18 months since I've been on the phone constantly. I have been exhausted and lost because of it. It's been just awful.

In my day to day life, I have felt guilty for not being able to do anything, so I used Facebook and TikTok to continue to speak up for the Palestinians. But this is Day 3 of not taking the phone to bed and getting up three times a night to scroll and cry and just feel completely lost. It seems like the disparity between the wealth of people just make the very wealthy sociopathic. The nonsense they come up with, as depicted in Mountainhead is so shallow and purile, you have to wonder if the so called 'smart' part of their brain is able to actually do consequence. It's like the only consequence they are interested in is making lots of money and that's that. Nothing else matters. Nothing. They are unable to think things through and ask themselves, well what will happen if I do this?

They are selfish and ugly and disgusting. Mountainhead was actually really good. Rich people are actually ugly. Religion was actually invented for them, not for everyone else. It was to place limits on them and to help us regulate their excess. All you need is one sociopath.

I need to complete writing the reports. I'm stuck at two. I'll start doing that today. I'll do two more today. 

And I'll do, I'll squeeze one in during the weekend.

Sticking with the fasts is all I need to do. All I need to do to make sure that I am ready for Singapore.