3.6.25 - In the greening

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Often we learn from our mistakes which are embarrassing to admit. I suppose the biggest learning I have is being nicer to people. Especially people - but no, you know the people I was awful to, deserve to have been been awful to. So, no. I did choose my targets well. I think, nicer to Jac, but I have been making up for it since I was 10. I will never forget looking at photos of her when she was younger when I was 10 and thinking, oh my goodness, I should be nicer to her.

So, yeah. Nicer to Jac. 

I could have understood my parents more. But I have learnt how to with time. It's not like I held on to those things you know. 

Apart from that - maybe used my time better instead of just lying on the sofa, doom scrolling, but I'm learning now. Something has definitely shifted there.

I'll collect my glasses after school today. It has been quite a year for me. Already.

Oh, the fast has gone well - the digital and literal fast. I don't feel hungry. Well, I feel hungry I notice around 10 am and then it passes. By the time it is 5 again, I'm not hungry any more. I did have a small chop, a seaweed and dandelion miso soup and some cashew nuts. Oh three sausages. But I really wasn't very hungry at all. So with any luck, I'll have done the first bit of the fast by the end of this week - i.e. the clearing out bit.

I remembered how much I loved being hungry. That pit in the stomach feeling of hunger. 

And the digital detox - the longest I spent on it last night was doing my Duolingo. I did some TikTok and no Youtube. I finished a novel. I fell asleep and slept so well. I got up to go to the bathroom twice. 

Small things.

But working with Forest School is one of the best things I have ever done. I did PR, which led me to Ireland - and then I ended up in a few jobs until I settled in the RSPB. I did think I'd find my forever home - and then I ended up in Steiner - which is what I always wanted to do anyway. And Steiner brought me to Forest School. In the meantime, shamanism has helped me bolster my own spirituality. 

We need a temple type place. A sacred type place. A place which we can meet and call our own. That'll be the next thing. 

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