The sands of time
Back to the Quarries
Treausre of Nature box
Getting ready
Birthday greetings
The warmest February on record I'd say
Pretty benches
A great birthday party
We had a birthday party yesterday at the Quarries. How often had I wished we could have birthday parties where the children were doing lovely things in nature and that we were being in love with the space, not contending against it - as one does in these so so called soft play areas. There is nothing soft nor playful about these places which are zones of screaming and destruction. As if children needed to be in acid coloured zones where you have singers which have soft porn videos are shouting like lunatics. No thank you.
It is more like a lunatic asylum than a play area. How do people who design these places come up with them? Who said to them let's do a place like this for children? I'd like to be there when the first ever of these places was put up.
And those people working in those places... I feel the same way about the people who work in Lush. It's really not right. It is an assault on the senses. And it is one thing being there for 45 minutes. It is quite another being there 8 hours a day. These places shouldn't exist.
BUT... two things before I restart on Atlantis once more...
First, I am reading this book - whose title I have now forgotten it is a Japanese author about this man that gets trapped in a sand dune - and the sand is a metaphor for time. It is Kafkaesque. And the sand's infernal nature tears his very existence apart. I wonder what will happen to him. Reading it reminded me of Flann O Brien. The other thing is - I got organised again. A life well lived is a life worth living.
I know this sounds stupid, but for some unknown reason the Omadhaun always for some reason just hated me and always felt like it was in competition with me. For some reason it detested my ability to sail, to get up and walk whenever I was crushed by it.
That is the thing about narcissists though - if they are not the centre of attention, if you for one minute took away their centre of attention, they would crush you for it - and there is also something in the programming of these toxic men which say oh I want a strong and independent woman - like it is some kind of taming ego trip, and then when they have her, they are like, you can stop the act now. You can stop being this strong independent woman - take my name, look after me, have my kids without complaint. It is a constant ego trip that they have someone managed to break you.
Well, guess what, nothing can and will break me. Nothing. I know that now. I will get up and be better. I will be stronger. I am literally what you are not - I am antifragile. I am powered by the sun. And I am no longer erasing things. This is where things stay from now on.
Yesterday I said to Ghin I have impostor syndrome - he said, what, really? I said, yeah. I just think I am pretending to be these things and I'm not any good and I know that I am. Well that's not impostor syndrome, he said. Well, it is if I am thinking I am not good at this... and he said I literally cannot thing of anything which you do which is mid. I laughed, really? Yes! he replied... Well cleaning maybe, yeah, he said, I was gonna say that - maybe cleaning...
Well that is another compliment from my beautiful son.
I made butter chicken for him yesterday. He gobbled it down. I miss your cooking - well, I said you are always welcome here sayang.
My gorgeous lovely son. And Oisin has said he had all firsts for his essays - he is on course for a first for his degree. My son who has just surpassed himself in every minute of every day. The both of them.
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