The time when we stop: First Holy Night

The 23rd was a busy day. I wandered about trying to erect gingerbread houses, make chocolate truffles, and prepare a solstice feast. Everything was done just about on time - apart from the truffles which were executed perfectly.

The gingerbread houses had very soft windows, which melted upon achieving verticality and the icing was alright. The very slopey roofs were just about staying on and I did not get it decorated. So in the end I decided that I would ask pple to decorate it themselves. Which worked out. Everyone enjoyed doing that. The pieces which never made it I sacrificed to the birds.

The house is now full of food. I am not even exaggerating. It is also full of booze. Over 15 bottles the last time I counted. Which means I may have to hold another party and tell pple not to bring any booze.

I have the best part of a jamon serrano, smoked salmon, a ham about to be baked and a turkey. I also have plenty of veg, bread.,... the list goes on. Essentially I did all my January shopping as well. The freezer will be thawed after today and then it will go into the freezer.

I am eating food that can't be stored.

The latest from Ghin is that Peter has now no car. Let's see he stays on the top of a hill with a young family and has no car. I have to say that the car is the singlemost important luxury in my life. I would not be without the car. It is the personification of freedom. You can go anywhere and do what you want and I need it for my work and speaking about work I need to submit my taxes online.

I have asked for help and received none.

I may just fill it in manually and tell them and I waited for people to get back to me but no one did.

We are doing alright in Elements. It pays the other third of the bills. 

And we are no longer having to invest our own money.

It has made life a lot easier especially since Peter is still holding up the entire divorce process. I don't understand the deal he made with his girlfriend. The decree nisi came through quickly but you can only get married after the decree absolute and here were are almost two years later still fucking about with it. 

Well, three years if you count 2019 when I went to see Kelly.

I have never seen anyone able to shoot themselves so comprehensively in their foot all the time.

And I watch Peakey Blinders.

But he must be happy now because forever and the day he wanted to have no car and now he has no car. He should also get a dog now and foster a child, then his happiness will be complete. All the things I never let him do of course because - well it is obvious. I said we don't have a lifestyle for a dog - at that stage he was travelling every month, I had a full time job and was a mother. I said we can't even look after our own children let alone another child. Finally, we need a car. A car we need. How are we supposed to function without a car? Maybe one day I will have a dog and no car... but that time is not near.

Anyway, enough with Peter. He has made his own decisions. It's a bit mental, but that's why I am no longer with him. 

Yesterday was the first Holy Night - Capricorn. 

Holy Night 1

December 24-25 - Capricorn

Christmas Eve, when Christ is born in the soul. The soul asks: Can I, with all my weaknesses, deficiencies and passions, be heard?

Symbol: The stable of Bethlehem, where the Light of the World is born in humility and poverty. The Voice of Silence penetrates the soul and teaches to joyfully affirm the good in us and in others.

Capricorn. The Divine Spirit is born in Matter. Spirit and Matter, the Alpha and Omega touch and life comes into being.

Mystery: The seeking soul in the darkness of a pathless forest.

Rudolf Steiner’s indications for the Holy Nights given to Herbert Hahn