The Task
After a few years of wondering, it came to me on Sunday, exactly what the rest of my life was going to be about. I know that it is a pretty big announcement and usually when I make announcements like this, life likes to take a huge stick and stick it between the spokes, but I will just have to take my chances and nail my colours to the mast.
It goes something like this:
The back history.
For a couple of years now, I have been wondering if I didn't have the chance to go on to be a Steiner teacher for the second time round, which I would do if I could do it, what would I do? Would I run a Forest School thing? Would I go back to conservation? Would I take up a teaching degree and while I haven't really rested on my laurels, i know this sounds very conceited, I have been taking little self improvement courses like Forest School and painting, etc I just had nowhere to go. What was my next path going to be?
I was still reading a lot around mythology, of course, and mysticism, and teaching of course, and also I was getting a bit lost and worried. Well, not worried... just the feeling you get when you are in a waiting room and waiting - patiently but also wondering when would it be your turn...
Sunday
Then on Sunday, I went to the Act of Consecration of Man at the Christian Community for the first time in MONTHS. There the sermon was about the Heavenly City and how the gates had different precious stones which formed the foundation stones. And for some reason this left a really deep impression on me, especially when the qualities of each stone were read out. I was also reading about the crystal boat on which the God Hu rides and how this was a symbol for the transformed physical body. For the first time in my life I understood the description of the Heaven City - it was really the body of the human being which had undergone a deep a dramatic conversion. We can attain the Heavenly City here if we work with the spirit. I was left the entire day thinking about it.
Evening Epiphany
I began reading my book again in bed, early, of course. When I felt, I should write, and as I wrote about what I thought about the day's sermon, a thought entered my head - this is how I shall now lead my life. And I realised that like Parsifal I had been asking the wrong question. The question was what work should I do - as in job - in the future? That was the wrong question. The answer to the question only arrived through inspiration - the answer was Live each day imbuing it the sacredness which it deserves, which it brings. Life is a sacred journey - you have subconsciously been treading this path - now walk it in an awakened way. When you open your eyes in the morning and when you close them at night know how sacred life is and behave in a manner with befits it. That is the task of the initiate which is each and every human being. And as soon as I came to this answer, everything then fell into place. It did not matter what I did because my building up experience in a crude way or obtaining confirmation from it had passed. That time in my life had passed, or if it hadn't passed, it was passing. Now it was time for me to spend the rest of my life meaningfully bringing a reverence, a holiness, a blessing to it. This would be the obvious solution. It did not matter what I did - within reason - of course I could not work for a munitions factory and say that I was honouring life - but really, I could do anything and be in the light. That was now my mission and task.
Generosity of Spirit
The first gate is made of jasper which signifies generosity of spirit. I am very ashamed. I have no generosity of spirit really. I find it very hard to be happy for people in a deep and meaningful way. Especially if i detect that when people are convey any good news to me it is a form of showing off. I don't know if this is something I picked up in Ireland or if I have always been like this. But the older I get, the more I realise of course, it isn't I that lack this generosity of spirit - but most people also do. Most people hate it when other people are happy - this is most evident on the Internet. People love taking other people down and misery loves company.
So I have promised to practise generosity of spirit more consciously and like the sun it falls on everything, even people who are not happy with you. The other thing is that each gate is made of pearl and as Ben pointed out the pearl is something beautiful and ethereal which is created out of suffering. There is something powerful about suffering. It is the human condition. I spent a long time in 2013 suffering, really suffering, and it would seem that it is now bearing fruit.
Would I ever choose to go through it? As Christ said, Let this cup pass, but if it your will, let it be done. Christ would have rather not have been crucified. I would have rather not have been, but since I was, I had to bow my head and take the humiliation and sorrow and disappointment which went with all of that. I did emerge ... and I think I have not really come out of the forest till now. I see the mountain now, the one I climb everyday.
And so, to live the sacred life, to live it consciously. That has now been solved. Everything else is small potatoes.
It goes something like this:
The back history.
For a couple of years now, I have been wondering if I didn't have the chance to go on to be a Steiner teacher for the second time round, which I would do if I could do it, what would I do? Would I run a Forest School thing? Would I go back to conservation? Would I take up a teaching degree and while I haven't really rested on my laurels, i know this sounds very conceited, I have been taking little self improvement courses like Forest School and painting, etc I just had nowhere to go. What was my next path going to be?
I was still reading a lot around mythology, of course, and mysticism, and teaching of course, and also I was getting a bit lost and worried. Well, not worried... just the feeling you get when you are in a waiting room and waiting - patiently but also wondering when would it be your turn...
Sunday
Then on Sunday, I went to the Act of Consecration of Man at the Christian Community for the first time in MONTHS. There the sermon was about the Heavenly City and how the gates had different precious stones which formed the foundation stones. And for some reason this left a really deep impression on me, especially when the qualities of each stone were read out. I was also reading about the crystal boat on which the God Hu rides and how this was a symbol for the transformed physical body. For the first time in my life I understood the description of the Heaven City - it was really the body of the human being which had undergone a deep a dramatic conversion. We can attain the Heavenly City here if we work with the spirit. I was left the entire day thinking about it.
Evening Epiphany
I began reading my book again in bed, early, of course. When I felt, I should write, and as I wrote about what I thought about the day's sermon, a thought entered my head - this is how I shall now lead my life. And I realised that like Parsifal I had been asking the wrong question. The question was what work should I do - as in job - in the future? That was the wrong question. The answer to the question only arrived through inspiration - the answer was Live each day imbuing it the sacredness which it deserves, which it brings. Life is a sacred journey - you have subconsciously been treading this path - now walk it in an awakened way. When you open your eyes in the morning and when you close them at night know how sacred life is and behave in a manner with befits it. That is the task of the initiate which is each and every human being. And as soon as I came to this answer, everything then fell into place. It did not matter what I did because my building up experience in a crude way or obtaining confirmation from it had passed. That time in my life had passed, or if it hadn't passed, it was passing. Now it was time for me to spend the rest of my life meaningfully bringing a reverence, a holiness, a blessing to it. This would be the obvious solution. It did not matter what I did - within reason - of course I could not work for a munitions factory and say that I was honouring life - but really, I could do anything and be in the light. That was now my mission and task.
Generosity of Spirit
The first gate is made of jasper which signifies generosity of spirit. I am very ashamed. I have no generosity of spirit really. I find it very hard to be happy for people in a deep and meaningful way. Especially if i detect that when people are convey any good news to me it is a form of showing off. I don't know if this is something I picked up in Ireland or if I have always been like this. But the older I get, the more I realise of course, it isn't I that lack this generosity of spirit - but most people also do. Most people hate it when other people are happy - this is most evident on the Internet. People love taking other people down and misery loves company.
So I have promised to practise generosity of spirit more consciously and like the sun it falls on everything, even people who are not happy with you. The other thing is that each gate is made of pearl and as Ben pointed out the pearl is something beautiful and ethereal which is created out of suffering. There is something powerful about suffering. It is the human condition. I spent a long time in 2013 suffering, really suffering, and it would seem that it is now bearing fruit.
Would I ever choose to go through it? As Christ said, Let this cup pass, but if it your will, let it be done. Christ would have rather not have been crucified. I would have rather not have been, but since I was, I had to bow my head and take the humiliation and sorrow and disappointment which went with all of that. I did emerge ... and I think I have not really come out of the forest till now. I see the mountain now, the one I climb everyday.
And so, to live the sacred life, to live it consciously. That has now been solved. Everything else is small potatoes.
Comments