Choke and splutter
The voice is on the mend. I should be back on Monday next week. My hip though feels a bit weird. I need to see what is wrong with it. I don't want it to get worse. The most terrible thing is a hip problem. I hope I have only sprained it.
God I am becoming melancholic.
Ma and Pa arrived yesterday. They are amazing. Honestly, would I fly half way across the world for the heck of it at their age. The answer will have to be no. To sit in a flight for over 13 hours and then the waiting lounge of any airport after that. Airports which are really hard going... I actually treid to be positive yesterday when I was cleaning the house. I found myself getting all a bit annoyed about the hard to reach corners, and when this happened, i caught myself on and said, I am grateful I have a beautiful house to clean which keeps me safe. This is really important I think. When I did this, the annoyance disappeared and I felt much better. The same with other things as well. I wonder why we think cleaning and doing chores is a punishment? Why? When children play they often play cleaning the house. The love pretending to sweep and wash up and do the laundry. It is a sheer joy to them and at which age did it become a chore?
Once again, it took far far less time - an hour and a half to do everything. From hoover to wipe down the toilets to clean all the ledges. The only thing I didn't do is beat out the carpets. But that would have taken less than half an hour. Then after that I felt so proud of myself. I felt so happy about it. I sat back and went, yes, this is incredible. Why don't I do this more often? Instead I can find the time to sit and binge watch Stranger Things.
It is very perplexing.
Right I need to get some food for the boys this morning. Today will be busy. I will need to check the car into service, then I will need to get the fridge sorted. My work round didn't work unfortunately. Then I will have to renew the BBC licence for the house. It's all happening without my voice. My coughing is particularly bad at night. I think it is the coughing which has resulted in me spraining my hip.
I told a friend the other day you know I never contemplated being infirm and it is these small things that throw me. The realisation that a tiny thing could then blow up to a big big thing. It is really dreadful.
At least the period is over and done with.
There is something comforting having Ma and Pa here. I don't know what it is. Each moment we spend with each other is precious. I realise now that having everything which they tell us gives us glory and status is a load of bollocks if you don't have family and friends around you. There are things I am beginning to realise just how deluded our current value systems are. Be kind. Be gentle. Be authentic. Be true to yourself. Exercise moderately. Everything else is an extra.
Right, it is time to get the morning started. I was complaining to my mom last night that I am the only one in the house who jump starts the morning. I get up, prepare things, get people moving. My mom then said, sure you father never did that either. I had to do everything. The house work, the ironing, the laundry. I did everything. Well occasionally my dad would wash the dishes, but I don't think he would know what to do with a washing machine if you asked him to.
Ah well. There is much to think about now, much, about my own future and my health. Honestly, I am coming to a place now where I have had enough to messing my body around. It is time to enter middle age and make sure I pay attention to it. It is a bit like being pregnant. Your body is now saying to you, you can't just do whatever you want, you need to listen to me for my sake. Look after me, pay close attention.
God I am becoming melancholic.
Ma and Pa arrived yesterday. They are amazing. Honestly, would I fly half way across the world for the heck of it at their age. The answer will have to be no. To sit in a flight for over 13 hours and then the waiting lounge of any airport after that. Airports which are really hard going... I actually treid to be positive yesterday when I was cleaning the house. I found myself getting all a bit annoyed about the hard to reach corners, and when this happened, i caught myself on and said, I am grateful I have a beautiful house to clean which keeps me safe. This is really important I think. When I did this, the annoyance disappeared and I felt much better. The same with other things as well. I wonder why we think cleaning and doing chores is a punishment? Why? When children play they often play cleaning the house. The love pretending to sweep and wash up and do the laundry. It is a sheer joy to them and at which age did it become a chore?
Once again, it took far far less time - an hour and a half to do everything. From hoover to wipe down the toilets to clean all the ledges. The only thing I didn't do is beat out the carpets. But that would have taken less than half an hour. Then after that I felt so proud of myself. I felt so happy about it. I sat back and went, yes, this is incredible. Why don't I do this more often? Instead I can find the time to sit and binge watch Stranger Things.
It is very perplexing.
Right I need to get some food for the boys this morning. Today will be busy. I will need to check the car into service, then I will need to get the fridge sorted. My work round didn't work unfortunately. Then I will have to renew the BBC licence for the house. It's all happening without my voice. My coughing is particularly bad at night. I think it is the coughing which has resulted in me spraining my hip.
I told a friend the other day you know I never contemplated being infirm and it is these small things that throw me. The realisation that a tiny thing could then blow up to a big big thing. It is really dreadful.
At least the period is over and done with.
There is something comforting having Ma and Pa here. I don't know what it is. Each moment we spend with each other is precious. I realise now that having everything which they tell us gives us glory and status is a load of bollocks if you don't have family and friends around you. There are things I am beginning to realise just how deluded our current value systems are. Be kind. Be gentle. Be authentic. Be true to yourself. Exercise moderately. Everything else is an extra.
Right, it is time to get the morning started. I was complaining to my mom last night that I am the only one in the house who jump starts the morning. I get up, prepare things, get people moving. My mom then said, sure you father never did that either. I had to do everything. The house work, the ironing, the laundry. I did everything. Well occasionally my dad would wash the dishes, but I don't think he would know what to do with a washing machine if you asked him to.
Ah well. There is much to think about now, much, about my own future and my health. Honestly, I am coming to a place now where I have had enough to messing my body around. It is time to enter middle age and make sure I pay attention to it. It is a bit like being pregnant. Your body is now saying to you, you can't just do whatever you want, you need to listen to me for my sake. Look after me, pay close attention.
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