This thing called sin

Yesterday i attended a talk called Parsifal and the Sting of Sin. It looked at the Parisfal myth, examining it and questioning its wonderful appeal to us over the many many aeons of time which it has come down to us. It is older than Christianity. Think about the Ramayana, the King of Ireland's Son, even the Monkey God has elements of it. Essentially when you have a journey, which is spiritual, you have the striving, the failing and finally redemption. Our lives are in fact much like these stories... which is why the myth of the Holy Grail, even today, still has such a hold on us.

Over the past two years i have looked at the Parisfal myth, especially from the anthroposophical angle. It us a very rich myth and anthroposophy, because it is a creature of its time (think the late 19th century when Europe was experiencing a revival in folk stories and the Arts and Craft Movement) really takes hold of it and examines its symbolism as well as its message. There are many links - especially to esoteric Christianity. The Grail legends were written, probably at a time when the first dogmas were written down. When people began to lose that dream consciousness and enter the age of intellectuality - where mysteries were no longer sacred - they had become stories - and the Grail legend survived through these stories. Spirituality then experienced a split - it either became dogma or intellect. In both places there was no experience for the awe and wonder, nor the deep poetic understanding which the connection to the divine gave us. Instead, you had to believe it - dogma, or you were a heretic - or you had to understand it. Which of course was impossible - you cannot completely understand the sacred - you can only glimpse at it - see through the glass darkly. And in this new world of the Enlightenment, there was no place for glimpsing at things darkly.

So many practices had to go underground, or were discredited, or were turned into fairy stories. Man was now supreme, s/he understood everything, and if they did not, then one day they will. It was the age were nature was tied to the table and tortured till she revealed her secrets. Francis Bacon's words, not mine.

I defy anyone to read the Grail Legends - there are several floating about, just google them - in their entirety and not be entranced by them. Even the symbols of the spear and the grail - and the characters in them. It speaks directly to the person - the archetypal experience of being human. Our many stupidities and foolishness. Our many cruelties and cowardices.

Yesterday's talk had many many interesting aspects, but the most interesting one was the Bibical Greek definition of sin. What is sin? Sin in Bibical Greek is harmatia - 'the arrow which misses the target'. This was a real flash of insight to me. Previously sin was something to me which was 'oh you have done something baaad'. Now sin was, you were not quite yourself. You have not managed to be your highest self . This definition of sin - harmatia - was extremely comforting because it forgave the person who perpetrated the 'sin'. It allowed me to more clearly think about someone NOT hitting the target, even though, they tried their very best to. And this is where anthroposohpy comes in. In anthroposophy, we have the highest self who knows exactly what it is supposed to be doing - it is us, here on Earth which has forgotten. Sometimes we get glimpses but often we are just pissing in the wind. Anthroposophy says, always believe in the highest self - this self is perfect. Remember this at all times. When we are unable to connect to our highest selves - then we end up not hitting the target. Because we all cannot reach this highest self all the time, the best thing to do is to live a life of love and compassion. It was this understanding, hard won, that redeemed the Fisherking, Amfortas. Parsifal redeemed him through his own journey to reach love and compassion.

Bhuddism says no different. Neither does Islam. And this is why being out in nature is so good. Because nature gives this love and compassion so freely. However, i believe that if we are able to ourselves develop this, translate nature's love and compassion, it is the divine which is made manifest consciously. This is somehow a conscious miracle - where in nature it is unconscious and therefore while very very wonderful, in the human being, this divinity is truly radiant and spectacular. for some reason i cannot put it more accurately.

This finding the self through selflessness - the ego being taken hold of and used with love and compassion is something which i have found extremely challenging. It is so easy to mistake martyrdom for selflessness. A mistake i have made far too many times. It is also easy to mistake coldness for independence. But what harmatia does is, it says, reload your arrow and draw your bow once again. Shoot with awareness from the heart. It is wonderful that in the Ramayana the weapon of choice is not the sword, but the arrow. With the arrow Rama slays Ravana, the fallen warrior.

Where would i be without my myths and stories? They fill me with such joy and relief and give me comfort. And they make this thing called sin more understandable. We are who we are, and that is alright.