A great view

My garden as it is being made... my idea of a great view now - no i am not being sarcastic

I have spent some part of my life pursuing highs. I mean, let's face it, who hasn't, if they could? Some people do it even if they can't. My highs usually consisted of going to places, seeing new things, you know - the travelling. Then also i would seek out new experiences. Sometimes they were dangerous. And they were cool. Cos they made me feel alive. However, then i had children, and this began to taper off cos, well, it would be a good idea to start behaving responsibly since i was now responsible for someone else. Like completely responsible. Don't get me wrong, the highs did not entirely cease, but they became fewer and fewer in between. Once i went to Rome for a week when Oisin was like quite young. I was on my own visiting a friend. After three days i thought, what the HECK am i doing here by myself? I want Oisin to be with me so i can be with him. After that i never travelled anywhere without the boys for more than three days. With the exception of Harapan where i missed them soo soo terribly.

So hats off to people who have to go overseas to find work in order to look after their families. It is truly hard.

Now, ask me what a great view is. It is not seeing the sunrise over Tanah Lot, or the eagles swoop over Geiranger Fjord, nor the Fragoli in Capri, or the fireworks over Marina Bay Sands on National Day. Nope. it is my garden taking shape. Previously i would have my back to the garden when i sat at the table. Now i look at it and think, ah, i will put in more plants this afternoon. So now that is my good view. A suburban garden in Belfast. Not a very large one at that. Just this tiny garden which is finally coming together. 

It is also the view outside my classroom where the beds are now finally done and planting can take place.

It is a chilled glass of juice on a table, with a bowl of green salad beside it. Such are the great views my life is made up of now.

They do not consist of obvious highs. However, they do consist of small exquisite things. And i find these small exquisite things great.

I was feeling very miserable yesterday and was wondering why. It turns out it was because i did not have coffee yesterday morning. I went to school at 7 am to clean the classroom and to think about the play and then i had to live on tea instead of my first shot of coffee. Now that i have some coffee chucked into me, some food, and also now that i no longer have the after effects of last Thursday lingering around i feel MUCH better. I remember the first time i had a hangover. I was 25 years old. We had spent the entire night at the beach at Marine Parade after having pub crawled all night in Duxton. How we got there i don't remember. We were chased off by the police and ended up at my friend's house on her floor, all of us covered in sand.

As usual i got up at 7 am and headed for the office. At the media morning meeting my head was thumping. Oh my god i thought, i am going to be sick. I am having a terrible flu. My boss then said to me, maybe you should go home. You look really unwell. I said, yes i think i will. It was only later that i realised i had a hang over. Previously any amount of drinking did not phase me. Now i was initiated into the world of the hangover.

It would appear now that my body cannot tolerate any amount of drinking at all. I am afraid that my drinking days - certainly anything more than a glass - are completely over. If i don't want to feel like an idiot for the next week. How do people do it? Continue drinking like hell into their 40s? It is is miracle.

Time to get going to school. I will now try and take a picture of my garden as it is forming...