Yawn!

Ghin discovers the joy of self service in the backseat of the car. I've put him there cos he now threatens to drive the car for me when he's in the front seat.

I've been so tired over the last few days! The frenetic activity of autumn included making our own elderberry jam from our own elderberry tree, harvesting and eating our own potatoes and of course the cleaning up after a summer of dereliction. We'll probably have to get the beech tree pruned as well. It's so huge now and we could erect a tree house in there. In fact may be we should build our next extension in it.

A great recipe for elderberry jam:

Elderberries, of course
Exotic fruit: dates and figs i used.
Sugar, to taste. Don't ask me how much exactly.
A dash of red wine - ok, one glass.
Some ground allspice and black pepper. Go easy on the black pepper. It's nice with just a hint cos it helps warm you up, like masala tea.

Pick and clean the berries. You can also throw in some black berries - the fruit, not the handheld thing.
Chuck everything else into the pot and boil until it's all syrupy.
Put into clean bottle. Eat within three months.

Should take you through to Lent when you should be giving up sugar anyways.

Must go now. Ghin is starting to wake up.

No, i don't need to go now. I've just finished reading the Music of Silence. It's this equisite jewel of a book about the different times of the day in a monastry. You know Vespers, Lauds, Compline, etc. It strips away all the nonsence and gives you the mystery, the essence, the deep spirituality present in what the author calls the Seasons of the Day. It is incredibly inspirational and it reminded me that even in the most hectic, the most uneddifying of places, we can always find peace and silence if we are able to tap into it. This is a critical practise at the end of the day when i'm really really tired and the kids are really really tired - well Ghin is - and it is all too easy for my life to collapse into the moment like some sort of disastrous souffle. Oisin is always a great help. He is my little bell. Are you tired mommy, he'll ask me, when he sees me teetering or sagging. Then he'll say, remember, pick pretty flowers and eat chocolate muffins. It's our little code for saying cheer up! Life is good, remember.

There is nothing like a child to make you question the deepest parts of yourself. Today i was really tired, but said so. And i couldn't read him is bedtime story. So we just lay in bed after Ghin went to sleep and we chatted. We chatted about a whole lot of things, but because i had been reading the Music of Silence, it seemed right to talk about grace. And then we got on to St Michael, and Lucifer. And then God. Oisin wanted to know what was God. How do you explain this to a seven year old when you don't even have that explaination for yourself? I tried to say that we all are part of God and we are all manifestations of God, but somehow God was greater than all of this. And in the Jewish language, there is no word for God. You cannot call God. This was why Lucifer was thrown out of heaven, because in his vanity and arrogance he presumed that he could be God, he could replace him. Which is why vanity and arrogance is the first way you bring unhappiness upon yourself.

Oisin listened patiently and then said, Well Mom, some people say god is an old man.

In this season of challenges i challenge you not to giggle at this. Where did he get this idea that god was an old man? Had he been watching films with Charlton Heston in it? He certainly didn't get it from either of us.

I then tried to explain to him Bhudda nature and realised at this stage maybe it would have been less tiring to read him Celtic Wonder Tales.

Ah the surprising and incredible journey that children are. Please God, let me keep my eyes constantly open to the gift of their moments.