19.6.24 - Struggling

 This time of the year is all about the struggle. The struggle to keep up. Where in winter we rested in the womb of the Earth, in the summer we are all front and crazy. They call it excarnation in Steiner. that the astral and the ego are off and away, untethered and we are a little bit crazy. Everyone is off and away and very little learning takes place. 

Yesterday I said something very hurtful to a friend and colleague. I was only trying to be helpful. But it came out wrong. Although it was strange that it never crossed the mind. How can these things not cross people's minds? The constant indoctrination which people have here about World War 2. It's so unhealthy. And instead of sowing peace it has only continued to create resentment and hatred for certainly the bigger countries in Europe. It is a subject and wax lyrical about in private. I hate war and prejudice and I hate anything which creates this divide. It's kinda mental.

Anyway, I hope it has been resolved. I sorted all the papers yesterday. The kids are doing great. I am delighted with where they all are in their lives. I am over the moon with it. I am so pleased for them. Whatever else happens now, now they are going to be fine.

Life in school is otherwise pretty crazy. I am completely satisfied with where I have the children. There are no children in class who are unable to read. No children in class who can't do maths. No children in class which can't spell. Which cannot function in real life. They can all skip and run and play basketball. They have had the best education anyone can ever provide. They are now fully functional citizens of the world. They have come through the nine-year change all good and are now ready to embrace the coming year. 

I am a good teacher. I don't know if I can ever replicate the formula, but I do think that whatever way I was listening or being taught in the course, it was all a little bit wrong.

Where would I begin with anyone who wasn't a teacher, like me? They did talk about differentiation, but they did not say how serious the differentiation would be. In the end I did pander to the less able in the class and I did not fully engage with the exceedingly strong students properly. Be that as it may, those who were able have gone on to succeed. I know this cohort of kids will be academically in a good place. I can do lovely things now. Lovely things like class trips and trips away. I was wrong. Wrong to have done so many class trips. I can see that now.

Anyway, that's just the way it is now...

That's just the way it it...

I am a better teacher for it.

And I have reached the far end of Class Three, having brought these kids there.