16.11.24 - Ritual and renewal

It's not like I haven't written. I have been writing like a maniac. Already the book which I have been doing my short stories is almost halfway book. I write in long hand, with a pen, in tiny ant like scribbles, only legible and then, just barely to myself. The descriptions are true - and this has also helped me with many things. Being more accurate when speaking, being more eloquent, not wanting to drink anymore because it interferes so bad with the writing and the thinking and the piece de resistance, the storytelling. I am becoming a good storyteller. I tell the Norse myths. Using the techniques which Gail taught us, I have managed to remember stories and put them into my own words. The children have become riveted and love story time.... and the mast story I told which was Otter's Ransom, I got a couple of them clapping, cos the story which is already compelling also gripped the imagination. And they instantly knew that it was the inspiration for The Hobbit.

Which was pretty cool.

So I have written loads, told many stories, worked with the children on vocabulary and paragraphs and parts of speech. And written my own stories. I think I'm going to put the candle in here to create the altar and the smudging here.

It has been very hard not writing since the 11th. That's almost 5 days of no writing. It never is a good idea for me. But I was getting so tired with the full moon. And now that it has passed I feel so much better. So much more focused and together. 

So I stopped on the 12th which was Tuesday, then Wednesday and Thursday and hoped to restart on Friday when the curve ball was thrown. So now I need to start once more... with all my running and piano playing and all the things which bring me happiness.

All the things which fasten me to the Earth.

And I will start after this. 

We are told so many lies about being creative. So many lies. The biggest lie is that we have to choose between being an artist and earning money. That was the biggest lie. We can be both. We can be both artist and we can be a useful member of society. We do not need to go on some adult vision quest and suffer and come back with wisdom and shit. That is unnecessary. We can just develop a relationship with spirit and nature around us and it can just happen.

Truth #1: We are all creative. As we live and breathe, we are born with creativity. You do not need to develop creativity. You are creative.

Truth #2: You can be both a useful member of society and also be creative by expressing your innermost self. They are not mutually exclusive nor are they the province of the well off and rich. To express yourself and explore your truth is our birthright.

William Morris thought this and his fellow arts and crafters believed this.

Truth #3: You can make time for this - if we are able to share the work. And if not bring your skills to the everyday in which you live. Bring it to bear.

I kind of look back at everything I have done in the school and I am very very proud of it. Also for the first time I am getting the work and achievement and balance right. Now this curve ball... like what. WHAT THE FUCK. I'm so very very fucked off with the entire thing.

But I need to be still, be still as this day and ask myself what's going to be best for me now? What is going to be the best thing for me now....

Over the next few days, I need to be still. I need to hold down my own side of any equation.

Well... what else is going to take place... 

So, let me do a list of things which I need to make sure I am doing and which I have,

Day to day stuff: Admin, accounting, etc

Things which nourish me: Art, writing, piano playing, running, new moon group and goddess work

School and forest school

Family and friends

Looking after the house.

Yes, I think that's it...