29.12.24 - Fifth day of Christmas

Well, Jac is back. Ma gets stronger daily. Every day she breaks a new barrier. Her exercising is progressing beautifully. She has increased her reps ten fold and is now moving at least an hour a day - more actually. She is not just exercising. She's also cooking and washing up. She loves being busy. If I can get her to be 20 or 30% stronger, it may just enable her to breakthrough to a point where she can bring herself to start improving on her own.

Everything is very slow and deliberate. Better that than being too hard and then discouraging her. 

So, to sum up:

1. Eating well

2. Exercising

3. Emotional connections

4. A willing patient

That's probably the most important thing. And I think the thing which has been most surprising about her decline. That she seemed to lose her will - my mother who was so fiery and wonderfully competent suddenly became so accepting of her immobility. It was just shocking. But she seems to have found it and everyday, she gets better and better. Like exponentially better.

It's Sunday today. I have not done anything very creative. I must draw today.I think I'll also use pastels to colour the Libra drawing. Unless I get colour pencils as a present for myself. I'll need to go to BBC. Bras Basah Complex.

Yesterday Jac and I went to town. It was the firrst time I had been out of Serangoon Gardens since I arrived. It was to do the insurance for the car. It was strange sitting in a traffic jam once more. Singapore is an efficiently run mess. I don't really care for it. It is a nice place to take a holiday. I listened to the complains about Germany. Germany has gone to the dogs since the Ukraine war. Why did they listen to the United States, I don't know. These men have not very much by way of intelligence. They just follow the next person. They are manipulated by the people who love the money and because they love the attention and the power they end up being easily controlled. It would be tragic if it wasn't so serious. Because it is so serious, it is pathetic.

Then I see my sons... they are beautiful and I have done my absolute best where they are concerned. I couldn't have done more.

It is the first time I've been able to regain some kind of structure since my arrival. Everything else was just reacting to the circumstance. The first three days were crisis mode where I had to nuture and just lay everything down on the line. The next three days were the first rays of relief and hope. The possibility of Ma getting better and being back to where she was, but possibly still needing a maid. The next three days were seeing Ma really respond to all the efforts and she getting brighter, the astonishment that she might actually be better than when I saw her in August. And the final three days, it has been her actually getting strong. Perhaps the idea tha Yati would be taken from her has really woken her up. It has caused her to dig deep, believe in herself and surpass all the things which she thought possible. It is all about the WILL. Previously, there was no will. Now, I see one emerge.

I do still hate Singapore, but because I have nothing to do with it living here, it is perfectly possible to believe that Singapore is mostly Serangoon Gardens.

This will be my fifth day of running, if I do go out running.

It has been a long slow road back here...

Right. I am going to get washed up, do my Duo Lingo and then start prepping breakfast. But Ma is able to do all that by herself now. Everyday she gets a little stronger. It has been great sharing stories. Being in her company. It has been such a long long time. I do think we have spent loads of time with each other. I told Jac it was easy being the hero, its the everyday which is difficult, demanding. But so good to see Ma back to what was once her former self. If we can just keep it up. I have 12 days to get her to where she needs to be. If she is able to improve every single day, it would be just amazing. She would have made this incredible recovery. Then maybe all this meant something.