#136.21 - Inexplicable

It has been inexplicable how I suddenly felt better today. My fitness levels are still good although I did the least amount of running in the past week since I began running again. This had to do with the crashing levels of exhaustion and today I suddenly felt great again. How and why these things happen I do not know. But I feel I can get up again tomorrow at 4 or 5 am and write and then for a run.

Today I spent the best part of the afternoon at Holywood Exchange.

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Running interference. Gabriel and I were wondering, what is going on? My brain feels like it isn't working today... what is going on? Mine too she said. It's like I can't put thoughts together. I thought it was just me getting dementia early onset but she said no, I can't either. So i said, right there is something here then. There is.

Little by little we are being plunged into the madness of this world. Little by little the crazy is now the norm. And people have just adjusted. The great human quality of shifting, of adapting. Adapting till nothing is left.

I have to say that I have not felt right now for sometime. I have pins and needles in my fingers and despite not drinking I have been feeling hung over. Like very tired and fuzzy. I should be feeling better than this. So I don't get it. And I know how good it does feel to be off the booze because I have been off it before.

However I must be grateful that being off the booze enables me to get up this early and think. Yesterday I went to Tescos to get cereal and I saw people walking out of there, at 10 am with booze. The place had people QUEUING with bottles of wine and six packs of beer at 10 am in the morning. What has happened to the world??? Then at the Holywood Exchange people were sitting in cars for two hours. Gabriel and I just sat with out coffee and watched them. Why would you have done anything else? It seems like something odd and strange was happening yesterday. It was like I was living in a Murakami novel. 

Also yesterday seemed very long. In fact the entire weekend did. Which is nice, not complaining. I went for my run first thing yesterday in Belvoir. I did the Arboretum and then the Forest Hill. I just wanted to see if I could run it. And I could. Which is also still very strange to me. I have been running for less than 60 days, if I count the days I have run on my calendar. Tell me this, have I totally underestimated what old age means - what being 50 means? Have I been told lies my whole life about the virility of women after 40? To be able to run better than I have ever run since I was in my mid 30s? That is not right is it? Anyway, I did - I have. In less than 60 days of training, starting from zero, as in being unable to run up this hill coming back, really struggling, I am now running all the hills in Belvoir with no probs. It is great. And more than that I'm running the hill up Croft Road which is no small achievement. 

After having not run for nearly a week and noticing that I was not hobbling about I have decided to have two rest and recovery days for my body to chill out. During these days I will do stretching instead for half an hour. It is good to also know that the pain was not chronic. That it was due to running - lots and lots and lots.

Apart from the not drinking then, and the running... oh yes, the drop zone and tone zone have merged into one. I have also been slowly starting up Forest School and trying to sort out the mess of school. It has been busy and good - and busy good quiet less tired now. 

I could not tell you why I was so tired over last week, but I am loads better now. I have started taking the supplements again, but that was how tired I was. I was so tired that I could not take my supplements.

I think that I need to practise punctuation with the class now. The finer points of grammar need to be worked over the course of the next five weeks before I release them into upper school. I need to try and write again. So many things need to be done and writing is the priority. Today when I get home I'm organising the garage.

Finally, one last thing before I start writing again - I love May. I think May is my favourite summer month. If only it would be May forever. June is sad because we go back again into the darkness - but May - May is the summer forever. Although this May has been very cold. Finally got the silicon from B&Q yesterday. Life is good you know. I cannot complain.