#82.20 - Reality

Sekhmet - Hrana Janto
The goddess create by Ra to destroy all humanity because of their
corruption. She went too far so Ra then made her drunk and when she fell asleep
he turned her into Hathor, the Goddess of Pleasure and Love.

For the first time since this outbreak - or whatever it is - I woke up feeling sorrow. Not terror. I'm not afraid. But sorrow. Sadness for the people who have passed away. Who knows if they would have passed away in another reality, in another 2020 somewhere else in the multiverse, but in this one they did. I felt sorrow for their going on and as Heidi did say, they have gone on to another place. We both believed that. But it did not make it less sad - and for those fighting for their lives - or quietly having accepted death - it also does not make it less frightening.

I don't know why I have not felt terror - I have felt a grimness though. The grimness of a question having been answered. The question which was always, how is it going to end? What would happen to the party bus that was heading, hurtling towards the precipice, and I received my answer. We all did. For decades conservationists warned, indigenous people warned, sustainable developers warned, for years and years and years... people who said less war more health, people who said climate change stop it now - and one day the planet said, no more - no more. Somewhere an outrage too many had been , a straw was broken, a line was crossed - invisibly, silently, another creature died and the Earth said, I can bear it no more.

Shiva's third eye was opened, an angel's arm was stretched, a horseman told to go on a ride, Death began walking.

In Medieval Times they believed they were being punished. And I believe we are being punished to. Except it is not called punishment, it is called consequence. I have always said, you cannot argue with Physics, and here it is, Physics answering back. We heaped up a broken jumble to letters and signs generated by our greed and vanity gleefully. We laughed at Physics, like little imps. Then Physics said, are you done? I think you're done and put in the Equals sign - and out came this.

It is not like we had no warning. We had several, multiple warnings which we chose to ignore. We elected total idiots believing their truly, TRULY toxic fairy tales. Really. Newspapers, TV shows, economic theories - all those really dangerous fantasies which fed our insecurities, our dark desires. We combed our hair and preened our skins in front of flattering mirrors whose truths, like the witches in Macbeth, were designed to lure us deeper and deeper into sin. And what is sin? Sin is the Greek word for missing a target - the target in this case is being our best selves.

So here we stand. Broken on the back of an invisible hand. Sobbing, screaming, imploring, ignoring - here we are - finally, brought to the final conclusion - that in the end we all must die.

And as death comes to claim us, how many of us can say we have truly lived? How many of us can say that we designed our own truths instead of toiling away in a place of sorrow? A place of pain and resentment? Regret abounds. I should have visited that person more. I should have forgiven her. I should have made more of an effort. I could have been a better son/daughter/father/mother ... friend.

The feeling of smallness beside the enormity of what there is - that struck me for the first time. And the grimness of a question being answered. There is no comeuppance. No diversion. No change of heart. No.

We cannot return to what was. The wholesale continued rape of the Earth and its inhabitants. All of its inhabitants. We must find a new way and say enough to the men and women in the suits and ties who have failed us so miserably on every front. Before this crisis and during this crisis and they will fail us again after this crisis by wanting to go back to business as usual.

Humility and contentment, kindness and compassion, the struggle with the self which is so so, all too real. We are human beings with all that glory and frailty. Let us embrace that and start a new.