Sitting with your pain

It is has always made me suspicious of religion and anyone who practises some religion on a regular basis. I notice they don't happen to be great human beings. But that is why they do it. So I have now learnt that if someone is in the process of doing lots of religion and even lots of spirituality, the chances are they are in need of it, and therefore, you can't really expect that they will be in the process of practising what they preach. Essentially they NEED religion. And it is also true for anyone doing anything obsessively - a hobby, an activity, an addiction - you can spot that they are in pain and they need the distraction. And that's ok. I think my problem was taking people at face value. If someone says they are doing zen meditation everyday, five times a day, they could either be really bringing it into their lives OR they are doing it because it keeps them out of trouble. I can understand that now.

I am going for my run at 6 am. I now know I MUST come hell and highwater, do my prep as soon as I get home. So from now on, as soon as I get home from school I am straight in with my prep for tomorrow. And then the rest of the afternoon is free to do other things. If i just don't get going first thing after school, then everything just collides into a big mess.

So write first thing, run next, piano, breakfast and then school. Prep for after school, do dinner, clean house. And that should be good.

God the days are simply full. Honestly, I have never ever had such an exhausting job.

Speaking of exhausting jobs, I have been following the Presidential elections aghast at how Singaporean politicians just get on. This year has been really interesting.

Firstly there has been a split in the ruling family. The Prime Minister has been accused by his siblings of abusing his power, which is kinda funny cos their father, whom they seem to worship and adore, also abused his power.

Then, there has been the debacle called the Elected Presidency. Having decided on the criteria of RACE, they then get a woman who has defined herself as INDIAN all her life and said she is now Malay. the whole thing was to ensure that Tan Cheng Bok couldn't stand in the first place. Tasked with this mess up was Chan Chun Seng, a thoroughly dislikable fellow, but I have seen his kind claw and connive their way into power and the establishment support him because the knows how to brown nose them big time.

In the meantime, the MRT is breaking down non stop. There is breakdown almost every day of the week. And these are severe breakdowns. I did not believe it until I saw it. Is it sabotage? Is it incompetence? Is it a bit of both? Who knows? No one knows because there is no real process of inquiry in Singapore. Everything is just swept below the carpet. Well, ten minutes to six.

I shall sit here and try to connect. To connect to the greater everywhere.