Today my life fell apart - slightly
I have come to the conclusion that life is a bit like the rest of time and space, constantly falling apart and coming together again, and today it fell apart slightly which is why i am at home sick.
After a good old cry with a friend, i said you know what i'll get through this because
a) I'm strong
b) I have dignity and integrity (most of the time)
c) I am right and they are wrong
d) And everyone knows this
So. And essentially nothing has changed - but still its great the way nothing can change and yet everything does.
I baked some bread, potted some plants, had a pavlova and then did at home type things. And rested of course.
We fight. Fight for the good cause, because really, there is nothing else that we can do. And time and time again, those on the side of whom i fight have been right. I have learnt to trust my instincts. BUT at the same time, it doesn't mean that when i am kicked or publically humiliated i do not feel it. I do not hurt. That i do not cry. I do, and i will. I will feel the soreness and the intent, but then i will stay and fight another day because you annot take away someone's dignity. And honestly it is NOTHING compared to the awfulness that real fighters, real rebels, real warriors go through. The breaking of the body and soul... this is me being part of that. And it is sometimes good that it is out in the open, because then, then it is clear.
Like when someone told me, you have no friends, or when they said your parents are ashamed of you. The attempt to bully and break became so transparent that after that it was impossible to keep it all down. And this is that moment. This is that moment, when it crossed the line and became obvious.
So to those people: i am staying, i am fighting, and when i leave, i leave on my terms, with my head held high. You cannot break me, you never will.
After a good old cry with a friend, i said you know what i'll get through this because
a) I'm strong
b) I have dignity and integrity (most of the time)
c) I am right and they are wrong
d) And everyone knows this
So. And essentially nothing has changed - but still its great the way nothing can change and yet everything does.
I baked some bread, potted some plants, had a pavlova and then did at home type things. And rested of course.
We fight. Fight for the good cause, because really, there is nothing else that we can do. And time and time again, those on the side of whom i fight have been right. I have learnt to trust my instincts. BUT at the same time, it doesn't mean that when i am kicked or publically humiliated i do not feel it. I do not hurt. That i do not cry. I do, and i will. I will feel the soreness and the intent, but then i will stay and fight another day because you annot take away someone's dignity. And honestly it is NOTHING compared to the awfulness that real fighters, real rebels, real warriors go through. The breaking of the body and soul... this is me being part of that. And it is sometimes good that it is out in the open, because then, then it is clear.
Like when someone told me, you have no friends, or when they said your parents are ashamed of you. The attempt to bully and break became so transparent that after that it was impossible to keep it all down. And this is that moment. This is that moment, when it crossed the line and became obvious.
So to those people: i am staying, i am fighting, and when i leave, i leave on my terms, with my head held high. You cannot break me, you never will.
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