Astral travel
OK. For a very long time, i used to think that astral travel was something that new age nuts believed in. The idea was introduced to me, not by a new age nut, but by this Chinese guy who used to study maths in Exeter. Perhaps that should have given me a clue. My interest in the astral and all things connected with it sort of toodled along, mostly quite incidentally, until, i had to take it more seriously for the course.
'There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy', says the astonished prince. And i think that is what has made this course so fascinating. Steiner attempts to explain in very precise terms the bits of heaven and earth that don't fit. That have spawned the current explosion in quantum physics, ethics and even interest in Bhuddist philosophy/psychotherapy and spirituality. Why am i also so surprised then that it sound kooky and ridiculous? After all, let's face it, all of the disciplines associated with it are kooky and ridiculous too.
Amongst the things he throws into the mix is the astral. What i do find really really really unfortunate about poor Steiner's work is that he was impaired by language and much of that language has since been used and abused in a rather flaky way. Also, you can see that he desperately attempted to explain in the simplest terms what he intuited about the human condition. In this he was not quite an epic fail, but his texts are hard going. However, the underlying intention and gargatuan effort of trying to understand and convey that understanding of why we are here and what we are doing is what has endured to this day. As has the polygamous existence of several different strands of human activity. In all this he was deliberate. In all this he was trying to demonstrate and manifest a unified Theory (and Practice) of Everything. How we are all interconected and interrelated was no pie in the sky cafe chatter. Health, economy, agriculture, education, special needs, etc were all connected. There was nothing remotely new age hippy about Steiner. Idealistic and practical absolutely. Revolutionary and radical, yes. But then again, this was the late 19th early 20th century. If you weren't any of this, you weren't alive.
Which brings me back to the astral. The astral is a body that we cannot see. But it is a specific kind of body. It is the body that holds our emotions and feelings. It is associated with movement. Animals and human beings have it. It is the foundation of thought. It mediates between the ego (spirit) and the rest of our earthly existence. It is governed by the stars (hence, astral). And when we sleep, the astral takes a trip back there.
The way some of us are tall or fat or thin or short, have brown hair, have deformed noses, are deaf in one ear, similarly our astral bodies are also different. Some people have difficulty controlling their astrals while others seem completely devoid of them. Over the last two months i have been doing a crazy dance with mine.
I think it is fair to say that up till now my astral has been all over the place. In good and bad ways, but all over the place. It has led me into doing highly ridiculous things - like moving to Northern Ireland - and some very lovely things, like having children and being a mom. However i think it is safe to say that until very recently, i have not really paid proper attention to it. I have never singled it out and gone, now, what about you? I have never had an attentive relationship with this astral because previously it was so bound up with me. But now that i have had the awareness of this, i can now try to understand it - and myself hopefully a bit more.
I know this is hopelessly self indulgent, but since i have been given the opportunity to indulge the self in this life, i might as well make the most of it. Also it is not more self indulgent and far more practical than most psychotherapy. And sure, isn't this what Woody Allen talks about in all his films... anyway, i digress.
What have i discovered. Firstly, that astral work is tough. At times i get up in the morning and feel as if i've been run over by a bus from the exertions from the day before. Also i'm sure that my astral takes off for some heavy lecturing when i'm asleep, so it might account for the exhaustion. And it's not just mentally tough, it is physically tough. It manifests itself in movement. In that it is contingent upon movement. I wake up and i think sometimes, i can't move. And i then a voice in my head says - Move. Move. Get up, do the routine. Do the bath and the eurythmy. Do it, you have to. And because i am doing astral work, i do it. In the past i would have said, nope, i'm getting another fifteen minutes in bed. Now it is going, if you don't take these 15 minutes now, you will not have it and the rest of your day will be fucked. So do it.
I am also doing a lot more housework. I feel compelled to do it. For some reason this is also part of the astral because having a clean house and things in order makes me FEEL happier. Having the bedrock of the house sorted means that i can build the rest of the day on it and so i'm getting more things done. Like i bake almost daily now - mostly bread and cakes for the kids to take to school, i'm cooking more, i'm getting far more reading done, the lists are being worked through, and my finances are approaching some sort of order.
But where most of the work is taking place is in the realm of how i relate to others and myself. That is where the Jacob and Angel wrestling really takes place. Everything else is small beer. It is hard to describe really. At first i thought it was like trying to ride a very wobbly bike in that you have to keep your balance all the time and now and then you do get some balance. But really it is not very accurate. It is more like the bike is alive, and i was going to say a horse, but that would not really describe it properly either. Because it is not an animal, i'm also discovering that it isn't some lower self to be tamed, but a part of myself that needs to be respected. So it is working really really hard to bring a part of myself into control by myself. Like a parent and a teenager. Therefore the contest is really with me. I also think that the angel wrestling incident holds more clues. But can't quite figure it out yet.
However all this work is made more complicated and augmented by othe presence of other astral beings ie humans. When i began this work, i thought i had it sussed. I do not have it sussed at all. It seems to be writing itself as i go along and i do not know what it is going to throw out and up next.
What is certain is that it is a new country, a new place. That i am reading situations anew all the time. I am enjoying it - even though it is exhausting. And i am compelled to do it as well. There is something very beautiful in this work. It is like watching or taking part in somekind of dance. It feels like i am listening and watching and a part of a world that is manifesting itself more and more in this one. In very practical ways. It is giving me a strange strength and resilience. The quality is new. Not better or worse. But new.
But that doesn't mean that i don't have off days, or many off days as well. But i am getting used to them. In fact i think they are part of it. It has, after all, been only two months since i began this and i don't think there are manuals written for it. So i am beginning to accept the off days.
For the moment, at this point in time, i think, isn't life wonderful? This is all rather haphazzard because it really is notes. An attempt to get down the experience of this work mostly because it helps me to put it down in writing. It enables me to think things through. It lets me sketch mentally what is going on.
I do not know where this is going to lead me. It's not like in the past when i thought, yes i will do this now and this will happen. It is more like, i will do this now because i need to do this. And then i will see what happens. I think that is what working from the heart is like. I need to do this because it is right or it feels right, and i will see what happens. The ends are always open. It is an utter paradox. I do all i can to do right by everything around me and that is all i can do. That is everything - and nothing. And all.
'There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy', says the astonished prince. And i think that is what has made this course so fascinating. Steiner attempts to explain in very precise terms the bits of heaven and earth that don't fit. That have spawned the current explosion in quantum physics, ethics and even interest in Bhuddist philosophy/psychotherapy and spirituality. Why am i also so surprised then that it sound kooky and ridiculous? After all, let's face it, all of the disciplines associated with it are kooky and ridiculous too.
Amongst the things he throws into the mix is the astral. What i do find really really really unfortunate about poor Steiner's work is that he was impaired by language and much of that language has since been used and abused in a rather flaky way. Also, you can see that he desperately attempted to explain in the simplest terms what he intuited about the human condition. In this he was not quite an epic fail, but his texts are hard going. However, the underlying intention and gargatuan effort of trying to understand and convey that understanding of why we are here and what we are doing is what has endured to this day. As has the polygamous existence of several different strands of human activity. In all this he was deliberate. In all this he was trying to demonstrate and manifest a unified Theory (and Practice) of Everything. How we are all interconected and interrelated was no pie in the sky cafe chatter. Health, economy, agriculture, education, special needs, etc were all connected. There was nothing remotely new age hippy about Steiner. Idealistic and practical absolutely. Revolutionary and radical, yes. But then again, this was the late 19th early 20th century. If you weren't any of this, you weren't alive.
Which brings me back to the astral. The astral is a body that we cannot see. But it is a specific kind of body. It is the body that holds our emotions and feelings. It is associated with movement. Animals and human beings have it. It is the foundation of thought. It mediates between the ego (spirit) and the rest of our earthly existence. It is governed by the stars (hence, astral). And when we sleep, the astral takes a trip back there.
The way some of us are tall or fat or thin or short, have brown hair, have deformed noses, are deaf in one ear, similarly our astral bodies are also different. Some people have difficulty controlling their astrals while others seem completely devoid of them. Over the last two months i have been doing a crazy dance with mine.
I think it is fair to say that up till now my astral has been all over the place. In good and bad ways, but all over the place. It has led me into doing highly ridiculous things - like moving to Northern Ireland - and some very lovely things, like having children and being a mom. However i think it is safe to say that until very recently, i have not really paid proper attention to it. I have never singled it out and gone, now, what about you? I have never had an attentive relationship with this astral because previously it was so bound up with me. But now that i have had the awareness of this, i can now try to understand it - and myself hopefully a bit more.
I know this is hopelessly self indulgent, but since i have been given the opportunity to indulge the self in this life, i might as well make the most of it. Also it is not more self indulgent and far more practical than most psychotherapy. And sure, isn't this what Woody Allen talks about in all his films... anyway, i digress.
What have i discovered. Firstly, that astral work is tough. At times i get up in the morning and feel as if i've been run over by a bus from the exertions from the day before. Also i'm sure that my astral takes off for some heavy lecturing when i'm asleep, so it might account for the exhaustion. And it's not just mentally tough, it is physically tough. It manifests itself in movement. In that it is contingent upon movement. I wake up and i think sometimes, i can't move. And i then a voice in my head says - Move. Move. Get up, do the routine. Do the bath and the eurythmy. Do it, you have to. And because i am doing astral work, i do it. In the past i would have said, nope, i'm getting another fifteen minutes in bed. Now it is going, if you don't take these 15 minutes now, you will not have it and the rest of your day will be fucked. So do it.
I am also doing a lot more housework. I feel compelled to do it. For some reason this is also part of the astral because having a clean house and things in order makes me FEEL happier. Having the bedrock of the house sorted means that i can build the rest of the day on it and so i'm getting more things done. Like i bake almost daily now - mostly bread and cakes for the kids to take to school, i'm cooking more, i'm getting far more reading done, the lists are being worked through, and my finances are approaching some sort of order.
But where most of the work is taking place is in the realm of how i relate to others and myself. That is where the Jacob and Angel wrestling really takes place. Everything else is small beer. It is hard to describe really. At first i thought it was like trying to ride a very wobbly bike in that you have to keep your balance all the time and now and then you do get some balance. But really it is not very accurate. It is more like the bike is alive, and i was going to say a horse, but that would not really describe it properly either. Because it is not an animal, i'm also discovering that it isn't some lower self to be tamed, but a part of myself that needs to be respected. So it is working really really hard to bring a part of myself into control by myself. Like a parent and a teenager. Therefore the contest is really with me. I also think that the angel wrestling incident holds more clues. But can't quite figure it out yet.
However all this work is made more complicated and augmented by othe presence of other astral beings ie humans. When i began this work, i thought i had it sussed. I do not have it sussed at all. It seems to be writing itself as i go along and i do not know what it is going to throw out and up next.
What is certain is that it is a new country, a new place. That i am reading situations anew all the time. I am enjoying it - even though it is exhausting. And i am compelled to do it as well. There is something very beautiful in this work. It is like watching or taking part in somekind of dance. It feels like i am listening and watching and a part of a world that is manifesting itself more and more in this one. In very practical ways. It is giving me a strange strength and resilience. The quality is new. Not better or worse. But new.
But that doesn't mean that i don't have off days, or many off days as well. But i am getting used to them. In fact i think they are part of it. It has, after all, been only two months since i began this and i don't think there are manuals written for it. So i am beginning to accept the off days.
For the moment, at this point in time, i think, isn't life wonderful? This is all rather haphazzard because it really is notes. An attempt to get down the experience of this work mostly because it helps me to put it down in writing. It enables me to think things through. It lets me sketch mentally what is going on.
I do not know where this is going to lead me. It's not like in the past when i thought, yes i will do this now and this will happen. It is more like, i will do this now because i need to do this. And then i will see what happens. I think that is what working from the heart is like. I need to do this because it is right or it feels right, and i will see what happens. The ends are always open. It is an utter paradox. I do all i can to do right by everything around me and that is all i can do. That is everything - and nothing. And all.
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