It can't be Thursday already
Today i went back to editing the Harapan video. With the distance of a couple of months, it feels a lot easier. I realised how wonderful a lot of the footage was, as opposed to, OMG, that was pretty cak. Quick, i need to go baaaack!
There was an interview i did with a villager from Sako Suban which was really good. At first i thought it was rambling and unstructured. But then, after looking at it it was excellent. We ask him about the wildlife around Sako Suban. Have you seen tigers? Oh yes. All the time. Where? Near the river. Has anyone been attacked? Oh yes. There was once this man, i think he was from Java who was eaten by a tiger. There was only his head left, wasn't there? He was attacked in the garden (kebun). How come the tiger was in the garden? Well it's in the jungle right? The kebun is in the jungle, that's where we go to get the rubber.
I wished i had brought twice the number of DVs that i had. There was so much that could be used. And after today i felt far more confident that it would be a good documentary, which put me in a good mood.
Came home and made shephard's pie and seafood chowder. The latter i put some hing (asfotida), fennel and tumeric. And i made the chowder thinnish, the way i prefer it. I've been invited to a party tomorrow at 7 at Miriam's house. I think i'll take that and the kids as well. It's good i think for them to be hanging around anarchists. We also made cupcakes and had chocolate letters which we did OMG, LMAO and other such juvenile hilarious expressions.
And talking about anarchists, i'm beginning to think that Steiner's idea of the organisation of a Waldorf school is mostly along anarchist lines. Anarchy is actually the basis of a strong society. Why do we have 'leaders'? Because it is more 'efficient'. If you want something done to the nth degree and done in the fastest possible time, then have a strong hiearchical structure. Interestingly this 'works' only up to a point (while causing immense unhappiness along the way.) After that point has been crossed it becomes highly inefficient and peppered with idiots (because leaders inevitably become draconian and find it impossible to put up with the truth, so they end up hiring idiots), bureaucratic and dead. Creatively, spiritually - the entire enterprise starts rotting from the head down, like the proverbial fish. This is why the civil service is useless and why large organisations end up breaking up or melting down, and why we have had a failure of 'leadership' for the guts of 30 years. Because only self serving, elitist pricks end up in positions of power.
Anarchy works differently. It is slow to start with because every decision has to be discussed. But this creates strong roots. It's like mulching. You start with good soil. Then people also have to work on their own shit. Why the anarchist movement fails is because people who have the mindset of the former hiearchical system bring their shit into the movement and try to mount take overs. This confuses people and the whole thing falls apart. Also people need to take responsibility for their behaviour. To inflict your shit on other people in a devious and emotionally vampiric way is another hiearchical import, or rather the hiearchical system has been an excellent codependent in this.
Steiner asks for nothing less than the highest levels of integrity and responsibility from the individual and the collective, something with hiearchies actually discourage. A truly anarchist movement gives people time and supports them in a strong and healthy way to articulate the pain they go through. It creates healthy, safe spaces. It attempts to encourage transparency and truth. And the system does not come first - people do.
If we manage to get past this stage of soil building and seeding, then love and good intent is the sun and the water and the wind and the nourishment of the movement. Ideas, actions, activity, autonomy, support, companionship and enthusiasm - all infused with gentleness, delight, respect and humility. Real humility. The idea of true service is critical. This is all bound up in courage because it does take a lot of courage to be able to carry this all out in the face of a society that is resentful and terrified of someone attempting to live in the truth. This is why Christ was crucified.
And anarchy is NOT about the glory. Nope. It is about living in the light and making the most of life and the many living and wondrous connections it affords us. With family, children, partners, lovers, friends, workmates, business associates... this is not utopia, this is what human beings are also capable of. When we overcome our fears, this is the portal that is unlocked. When we face down the delusion of power (the false antidote to fear, power is actually fear's terrible cloak), we step into freedom. The freedom to be who we really are, who we really can be.
And guess what, it can be messy. It can appear disorganised. The way a rainforest appears disorganised. But if individuals are empowered, if they are alive and independent and aware, if they are living beings, they will be messy, but there will be an internal coherence. So you will never get cities and massive towns, no. You will get strong small communities who depend on each other and will never EVER want to eclipse another that the expense of the other. Communities occupied and built by individuals who will never want another to suffer or see another suffer. Real accountability, real responsibility, real progress, living within our limits.
And faced with all the awfulness of the world around me, that is all i can do right now, to keep walking towards this path. Despite the pain and the humiliation that people who are too afraid to be themselves inflict upon those of us who try to be free, i will still choose this. Because to do so otherwise is illogical, too painful and ultimately an atrocious betrayal of this gift of life and the reason why i imagine i chose to come back here - to learn from the lessons of love.
There was an interview i did with a villager from Sako Suban which was really good. At first i thought it was rambling and unstructured. But then, after looking at it it was excellent. We ask him about the wildlife around Sako Suban. Have you seen tigers? Oh yes. All the time. Where? Near the river. Has anyone been attacked? Oh yes. There was once this man, i think he was from Java who was eaten by a tiger. There was only his head left, wasn't there? He was attacked in the garden (kebun). How come the tiger was in the garden? Well it's in the jungle right? The kebun is in the jungle, that's where we go to get the rubber.
I wished i had brought twice the number of DVs that i had. There was so much that could be used. And after today i felt far more confident that it would be a good documentary, which put me in a good mood.
Came home and made shephard's pie and seafood chowder. The latter i put some hing (asfotida), fennel and tumeric. And i made the chowder thinnish, the way i prefer it. I've been invited to a party tomorrow at 7 at Miriam's house. I think i'll take that and the kids as well. It's good i think for them to be hanging around anarchists. We also made cupcakes and had chocolate letters which we did OMG, LMAO and other such juvenile hilarious expressions.
And talking about anarchists, i'm beginning to think that Steiner's idea of the organisation of a Waldorf school is mostly along anarchist lines. Anarchy is actually the basis of a strong society. Why do we have 'leaders'? Because it is more 'efficient'. If you want something done to the nth degree and done in the fastest possible time, then have a strong hiearchical structure. Interestingly this 'works' only up to a point (while causing immense unhappiness along the way.) After that point has been crossed it becomes highly inefficient and peppered with idiots (because leaders inevitably become draconian and find it impossible to put up with the truth, so they end up hiring idiots), bureaucratic and dead. Creatively, spiritually - the entire enterprise starts rotting from the head down, like the proverbial fish. This is why the civil service is useless and why large organisations end up breaking up or melting down, and why we have had a failure of 'leadership' for the guts of 30 years. Because only self serving, elitist pricks end up in positions of power.
Anarchy works differently. It is slow to start with because every decision has to be discussed. But this creates strong roots. It's like mulching. You start with good soil. Then people also have to work on their own shit. Why the anarchist movement fails is because people who have the mindset of the former hiearchical system bring their shit into the movement and try to mount take overs. This confuses people and the whole thing falls apart. Also people need to take responsibility for their behaviour. To inflict your shit on other people in a devious and emotionally vampiric way is another hiearchical import, or rather the hiearchical system has been an excellent codependent in this.
Steiner asks for nothing less than the highest levels of integrity and responsibility from the individual and the collective, something with hiearchies actually discourage. A truly anarchist movement gives people time and supports them in a strong and healthy way to articulate the pain they go through. It creates healthy, safe spaces. It attempts to encourage transparency and truth. And the system does not come first - people do.
If we manage to get past this stage of soil building and seeding, then love and good intent is the sun and the water and the wind and the nourishment of the movement. Ideas, actions, activity, autonomy, support, companionship and enthusiasm - all infused with gentleness, delight, respect and humility. Real humility. The idea of true service is critical. This is all bound up in courage because it does take a lot of courage to be able to carry this all out in the face of a society that is resentful and terrified of someone attempting to live in the truth. This is why Christ was crucified.
And anarchy is NOT about the glory. Nope. It is about living in the light and making the most of life and the many living and wondrous connections it affords us. With family, children, partners, lovers, friends, workmates, business associates... this is not utopia, this is what human beings are also capable of. When we overcome our fears, this is the portal that is unlocked. When we face down the delusion of power (the false antidote to fear, power is actually fear's terrible cloak), we step into freedom. The freedom to be who we really are, who we really can be.
And guess what, it can be messy. It can appear disorganised. The way a rainforest appears disorganised. But if individuals are empowered, if they are alive and independent and aware, if they are living beings, they will be messy, but there will be an internal coherence. So you will never get cities and massive towns, no. You will get strong small communities who depend on each other and will never EVER want to eclipse another that the expense of the other. Communities occupied and built by individuals who will never want another to suffer or see another suffer. Real accountability, real responsibility, real progress, living within our limits.
And faced with all the awfulness of the world around me, that is all i can do right now, to keep walking towards this path. Despite the pain and the humiliation that people who are too afraid to be themselves inflict upon those of us who try to be free, i will still choose this. Because to do so otherwise is illogical, too painful and ultimately an atrocious betrayal of this gift of life and the reason why i imagine i chose to come back here - to learn from the lessons of love.
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