Imagine you're a Palestinian villager....

-








Am i a terrible mother? Probably. We went to the Army's Open House 07. It was pissing down, as you can see. Oisin was so tarribly excited about all the hardware. We were actually able to sit in the pilot seat of an Apache attack helicopter. Here is how the pilot targets his missles, said the very nice and sweet, instructor. His places this device on his head and through the eyepiece the missle is able to automatically find it's target. All i could think were the Palestinians running in fear from the Israeli helicopters - or Iraq farmers or afghan traibes. you cannot image what a mean looking thing this creature is. First it's size alone is impressive/terrifying. It's huge for a helicopter. It's not your sweet little thing that takes off from the Newtownards airfield. It's a motherfucking piece of military equipment which is designed to strike menace in the heart of the beholder. Then it has three kinds of ifrepower. A machine gun that sticks out of the bottom. three huge rockets on either side. And a missle barrel that hold nineteen missles in each barrelhole. Apologies for the lack of terminology. It's a shit inducing thing. And it wasn't the only thing on display either. German Leopard tanks. Armoured cars that doubled as breakdown vehicles. Chinooks. Guns, everywhere. However, what's really sweet about the Singapore army is that unlike other armies, it isn't voluntary, so you don't get the mad Rambo types pacing up and down on jumped up testosterone with bulging steriod filled muscles. It's a conscripted army and therefore you get all types - especially the most unlikely ones. They all wear glasses, some are positively gay - in fact many strike you as if they might be entirely gay - and most of them are quite gentle. It's bizarre. The Malaysians call them HDB soldiers, said my uncle. But you should see them train. Yes, i should, i said.

They were especially proud showcasing their army rations which included Lo Mai Kai, pasta, ramen and white fungus and red bean soup for dessert. Included in what they actually call the 'accessory pack', which made me deeply suspect the gay thing, was a packet of tissue paper, the ubiqutous kind that the blind people sell in hawker centres here. I never use it because it's much too flimsy and fly away for my liking. Also it balls up into a thousand tiny bits if you get it caught in the washing machine.I laughed at it. What's this? i asked the very proud sergeant who was showcasing the delicious spread. It's tissue paper, he said. Whatever for, i asked. I thought you used leaves. Or water. Can you imagine the litter in the forests? No, we have to you this when we're out on tour. What?!! i giggled. Are you girl scouts? At this point, Peter would shake his head and cringe with embarrassment at my rudeness. But tissue paper? A tissue paper weilding army??!!! Please.

Popular posts from this blog

Geylang sepaku Geylang

-
Image
Geylang Serai is the place i feel most at home in Singapore. Possibly because a vast majority of the population are still Singaporean and i speak the language they speak there - Malay. Also, it hasn't changed that much. OK, it has, but i'd like to think it hasn't. We ate at the new market there which used to be a little better than an open sewer. But it was our open sewer and we loved it. Geylang was heaving with people getting ready for Ramadan. On the table we have sup kambing, otak-otak, nasi padang and rojak. Drinkswise we have lime juice, Kickapoo and teh. It is hot - really hot. We are all pespiring and we can feel our clothes stick to our skin and bellies and thighs. Our hair is continuously in our faces, dripping and sticking too. The only thing that brings relief is a soak in the pool or a shower and an airconditioned room. No wonder when the boys came back, the first thing they said was, ah, it's great to be back in th cool weather again!. Singaporeans love th...
Read more

The Central Business District

-
Image
The Thinker in the OUE building Yesterday i attended a talk which was organised by some environmentalists here. It was held in the NTUC building which was in the middle of the business district. It has been years since i have been here, so i set out early to walk about the place. Everything is very very large  I arrived during rush hour and people were simply pouring out of the MRT. The crowds were swarming down escalators and out of offices - but they were not overground. No, they were underground, at the MRT. In fact thee was no one above ground. For the business district at rush hour, above ground was eerily quiet! There must be dozen of buildings which look like these To think that hundreds of thousands of people work in places like this. I used to work in a place like this. Admittedly these buildings are far more swishy and very sleek. It was like being in some espionage film set in the future. There were rehearsals for the National Day Parade and Sarah...
Read more

19.3.26 - 74 - Eulogy: What will survive of us is love

-
Image
I wrote and read this for Pa at the service. It was in long hand, but I have it here typed out now. It is peppered with verses from the New Testament, because I was asked by the priest to refer to Jesus occasionally, so I made that concession. Big shout out to Ben and the Christian Community whom I spent many a delighted evening reading and discussing the Bible during Bible study class. =========================== Thank you everybody for coming here to honour the life of husband, father and legend which is Eric Sim Chin Seng. Pa crossed over on the 16th of March at 7.30 am. He went peacefully and gently. He breathed his way slowly past this life and on to the new one, leaving his bark, his body, which carried him and his indomitable spirit and endless capacity to love, for 81 years, to say farewell to one last time. This tribute is to you, for you, Pa, who always walked in the sacred steps of Jesus Christ and lived the best life which could be lived. Part I: John 1:14 "The word be...
Read more