19.10.25 - 293

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Scorpio

Last year I painted this in Singapore... it is the middle of October - September has gone with the blink of an eye. It's been mad. 

I haven't done anything which I had planned to do.

As usual.

My reason....well... I was too tired. And I was. But that was the only reason.

I have not been running, not stretching, not eating well... I haven't been looking after myself. It feels like I am slightly falling apart. And part of it is the genocide and the disbelief. And part of it is getting old. Yesterday when Ghin showed me this photo of a war reporter, I said to him, you know all war reporters are assholes don't you? I was really shocked I said this, because once upon a time I did want to be a war reporter. Then I realised that they were egotistical adrenaline junkies... and that was that.

I should try and start doing stuff now though...

Let's see... book tickets spend the next hour organising things and my dairy and then do the cleaning of the house which always takes a lot less time than I think it will take. Sigh. Let me work backwards... if it is to be ready by 2... I can start at 12. Which gives me 2 and a half hours. So I can do that... I can organise and do things and then start cleaning at 12.

My breaking heart.

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