24.9.25 - Day 19... finally

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Outside the courts

I didn't go to school yesterday. I woke up with the headache and I was so tired. 

I modified the lesson plan and then went straight back to bed. 

It has been a beautiful two weeks weather wise. 

I made my way down to the courts. People used to prize justice, but that doesn't mean very much these days. Still though, the edifice of justice is very impressive. Made of stone and marble and gilt and glowing honey coloured woods.

It has high ceilings and a learned hush.

Whenever I step into these places which are designed to intimidate the people who are unfamiliar with them, I remind myself how much I despised this life. That this meant nothing to me, because it was not just inaccessible, but it was inaccessible by design, which makes it maya. The best reaction you can have to these places is one of indifference.

Anyway, I signed this and Kelly said she couldn't believe that it was May 2023 when the decree nisi was issued. All of last year we chased Peter. Finally we got a financial adviser to put everything down and that was that. Peter was not pinned to the ground and we could not longer move.

That was in May this year. May. 

So mad.

After that I stepped out into the Michaelmas sunshine. It was so beautiful. I did not realise it, but I was now free and that freedom, well, really, that was incredible.

I did not expect it to feel so great.

I wondered, when I was having my quiet coffee, does Peter really think he is better off now? He no longer owns a house - our sons now have the Donegal house - he has a very very young family to raise from scratch at the great age of 64, it's truly laughable, hard to not have schadenfreude - and now... honestly. 

I went home, watched some tv and fell into a wonderful deep sleep - after stopping by the Asian market to get ingredients for gulab jam.

So, that was that.

I collected Oisin from work and we went to Hobby Craft to get more tailoring equipment. 

Then we had dinner here. I had fries, he had chicken tenders. It was cheap and nasty, but for some reason... it felt good. I didn't finish everything, given the headache and all...

Oh Oisin bought me a set of sharpies and gel marker pens which I will use for marking.

And so it is now over... it is now all over... I can't quite believe it is now Michaelmas and we will then be in October. The journey is now coming to an end. Finally.

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