3.2.25 - Feeling better

Here I am, showing up for writing first thing. I slept at 6.30 last night after a long sigh after winter's passing. I know it's still going to be a few more weeks of cold wet weather, but we are certainly past it all.

I have to recognise that I was not feeling very well, but I am slowly coming out of everything now. I am feeling better than I have in a snowdrop tentative, peeking through the snow way. I am here.and I have lasted this year.

I have never felt this more deeply than this year. I have lasted.

There are so many thoughts moving through my mind now. Our ancestors, the vocalisation of life, this sounding which comes from the measure of being here. 

One thing which has escaped me now - is - I don't even want to say it - it has left me - this sense of urgency. I want to try and explain it. But I can't seem to focus enough to say it. I need to stop looking at tech so much.

I blame Duolinggo. And TikTok because of the Gaza war. But let's talk about tech in the first instance - I need to stoip looking at tech because I am now clicking on things which don't really concern me. Like Trump's appointees. Although because I am hoping that the Covid debacle will be properly inquiried, I am following Robert Kennedy Jr's appointment. Also the entire world has gone mad once again over Trump. The problem is that people are not activists. Activists are able to just set the idiocy aside and get on with what needs to be done. People are reacters. They REACT to things and it is very very frustrating. Very.

But anyway, this is the thing - I am just listening to nonsense on YouTube - like the fires in California. And Luigi Magione. I mean I'm hoping that SOMETHING will wake Americans up, but actually the truth is that even if they do wake up, what choices do they have? Not a lot. They do not have a lot of choices.

I think that sometime, possibly in the early 90s to late 90s, peak civilisation was reached. We are now experiencing literal brain rot. So I am just going to have to choose a future where I think, yes this is the future I want, a future which is balanced, which is sane and then go for it. Be good to people, be decent, have principles, stand up for things, get things done and not become obsessed with the news and be content with what life has to give us at this stage. But if we are to be believed, there is going to be a massive recession.

It is coming and we are going to have to face it - and in a recession, cash is king.

So I am not going to spend my time trying to figure out all the nonsense which is taking place around me. I am going to focus on this here and now. I have done the trying to process all the information and there is no point. We cannot affect anything. Politicians are corrupt beyond measure. I have never voted in my life - not in Singapore because I refused to take part in the charade, any way my constituency was never contested when I lived there, and not in Ireland because by then I had given up on politics. It's all tribal, run by a bunch of crooks who are susceptible to being bought out. And if they aren't then you see the fate of people like Jeremy Corbyn and Yanis Varoufakis - playing the darling to the Left, but effectively ineffectual. All you can do is the thing which you can do and be true to what you believe in and do your best to be good.

This is me picking myself up and dusting myself off.