18.7.24 - Squeeeeee

Ghin has made a new friend...

Jac and her fire extinguisher

Hardcore Singaporean breakfast... awaiting the petan chok

Trump is Keanu

Yesterday was the first proper chilled day here. It started with my run, then blog, then I had breakfast with Jac (pe tan), and then I came back here and Ghin was here. I advised him a little and then I was on my own for the rest of the day... and I dozed, had asam laksa for dinner and didn't go out. Although I could have. It was the first time I had chilled, properly chilled. 

And I thought of how it would have been nothing but activity from one end of the day to the next with the boys. I mostly watched two Netflix films I had already watched - a weirdly sexist film with Jake Gyllenhall and Amy Adams about a husband who fantasises about having his wife raped and killed... Honestly it's awful. I cannot believe anyone could make it. Throughout women are treated with complete disdain. Tom Ford must be an asshole. 

Anyway, then I watched the Adjustment Bureau, in which the entirety of the universe circles a man... and his career. Honestly it's quite something. I think the older I get the most annoyed I feel about how not just men though, but this whinging and hand wringing narratives of people who are just intensely privileged and yet do nothing but complain. 

Like I told someone recently, I have decided to stop feeling sorry for you. Because I just realised that you were not accidentally painted into a corner, but you did want this for yourself. You know, compared to the millions of people everyday who have had nothing but shit dolloped on them. When one actively chooses the thing, you cannot complain if it isn't what you ordered.

I was also told that I was always so positive. That is because I know I had agency in what is taking place. Whatever has transpired has been 100% of my own making. And where it was not of my own making, I had somehow landed myself in that situation. So I literally CANNOT COMPLAIN. I hate complaining. Either keep quiet or do something about it. Do NOT come to me with a complaint. I mean I will listen to you, but if it keeps happening, I WILL begin to judge you.

Anyway, I should finish this blog. I am quite pleased with myself getting things done slowly.

It has been almost exactly two weeks since we have been here. The first week usually goes very slowly, but these 11 days have gone very very swiftly. It may be because we were waiting for Oisin. But I have done lovely things in my time here... however, the things which used to entrance me about Singapore a little longer, that glamour has worn off very quickly this time round too. I don't want to write about it, it's really too painful, but you would think that it was something which they would have learnt from the mistakes in the past, but the stranglehold which the boomers have on us, as exemplified by Trump-Biden and the trauma inherited by my generation, the slightly post-war generation, from their abusive parents (perfectly normal to abuse you children then), has kept us in check. I don't know what the millennials and the Gen Z will bring us. I did try my best really, I know that, deeply, intimately, intensely.

Well the other crazy thing that has happened in the past week, is the unravelling of America. It was bound to happen. It has been taking place for as long as I have understood politics. The Americans were always heading this way, and now they are here. How this pans out for us... I'm hoping it is the end of the idiotic version of globalisation.

But my priority has to be my parents while I am here. That's the most important thing. I'm gonna be spending more time with them... and I feel very privileged that they are still here.