28 December - Finding freedom

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The solstice branch

Truth be told I really needed to stop drinking. Not because I feel physically better, but because it did enable me to put up with things I would otherwise not put up with. There are no excuses. But now, now here I am... I just naturally stopped on the 26th - I know its not many days, but you know as they say in AA, one day at a time.

I completed the blog update yesterday and did some writing for all the Holy Nights. I have to say I am not having lovely dreams these Holy Nights. Strange things wander around the corridors of my dreams. Like last night I dreamt that Oisin had been asked by this guy to drive a batter BMW go cart down a land and we ended up getting stuck. He started dismantling the entire thing... we were in some beach-lecture type place... it was very odd. The day before I had dreamt that there was a massive pile of diahorrea which I had to clean up. Honestly. Never seen a pile so large. Not the lovely dulcet dreams which I would want. Perhaps its just the nightmares which the alcohol suppressed. 

But that is literally the only difference I have when I don't drink. That only difference may be good enough.

But yesterday I also attended this lovely women's circle. Of creators. It's so gorgeous to see how this weaving has taken place. Bit by bit by bit. Gradually not all at once. It is like a seedling and who knows where this will bring us? 

So bit by bit by bit. that's the dawning skies for me. 

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