Another week
The past week has been so hard. Since joining as a teacher, i had always looked forward to the Olympics. We hold the games and the children dress up in Greek tunics and they do nine events in one day. It is the celebration of the pinnacle of childhood. The beauty of the flower at its loveliest. And it is really a joy being in the presence of children when they are that age, where they are ageless. Like Ancient Greece itself.
And indeed that was what it was like. It was just simply perfect. From the weather, to the mood, to the games and the organisation, it was faultless. It ran like clockwork, which is to say that everyone played their part perfectly and patiently, with no drama.
When we got back i was utterly shattered. I lay on the bed from around 4 pm and then went to celebrate Oisin's 16th birthday at Nandos. The next day, i was at school and came back ever more tired and then on Saturday i hung out with Oisin and got him shoes.
Then Peter and I had a Father's Day lunch and talked... then it was collecting Ghin from kendo, followed by heading back to lie down a little more. Today, i feel better.
On Saturday morning, around 4 am, i had this deeply intense feeling of the wonder of being in this world. How the spirit has to condense so much in order to become a physical, material item. And then the wonder of consciousness, and the wonder of the spirit itself. Us, as receptacles of spirits. Suddenly, it was as if nothing mattered, as if all the nonsense around status and things had gone and i was left, alone, in this morning light, with the sun brightening the skies and Zen, sitting beside me. I went over to stroke Ghin's forehead and he shifted in his sleep and then i kissed Oisin. How wonderful it was to have love. To have this moment, to finally understand what being alive was.
All the things which i have left on the wayside on this path fell even further. There were no regrets, only what was real. It takes a certain about of tenacity and stubbornness to insist that what we keep being offered in this world is unnecessary. A certain degree of listening to a voice that you don't even know has been whispering inside you. It is less than a voice.
I never pay attention to compliments which are passed my way. But i have decided to add them to this blog. A teacher in the Kildare school said to me, you have a wonderful lightness about you. Which meant a lot, since she was someone very wise. And a Spanish parent told me, you are always smiling, you are always happy. I know i am not always happy, but i do try to be positive.
Many friends tell me this, and i do think i should listen, right?
I too am a good person. I try my very best. I don't always succeed, but i try. It is a beautiful day today, but i am cleaning the house.
And indeed that was what it was like. It was just simply perfect. From the weather, to the mood, to the games and the organisation, it was faultless. It ran like clockwork, which is to say that everyone played their part perfectly and patiently, with no drama.
When we got back i was utterly shattered. I lay on the bed from around 4 pm and then went to celebrate Oisin's 16th birthday at Nandos. The next day, i was at school and came back ever more tired and then on Saturday i hung out with Oisin and got him shoes.
Then Peter and I had a Father's Day lunch and talked... then it was collecting Ghin from kendo, followed by heading back to lie down a little more. Today, i feel better.
On Saturday morning, around 4 am, i had this deeply intense feeling of the wonder of being in this world. How the spirit has to condense so much in order to become a physical, material item. And then the wonder of consciousness, and the wonder of the spirit itself. Us, as receptacles of spirits. Suddenly, it was as if nothing mattered, as if all the nonsense around status and things had gone and i was left, alone, in this morning light, with the sun brightening the skies and Zen, sitting beside me. I went over to stroke Ghin's forehead and he shifted in his sleep and then i kissed Oisin. How wonderful it was to have love. To have this moment, to finally understand what being alive was.
All the things which i have left on the wayside on this path fell even further. There were no regrets, only what was real. It takes a certain about of tenacity and stubbornness to insist that what we keep being offered in this world is unnecessary. A certain degree of listening to a voice that you don't even know has been whispering inside you. It is less than a voice.
I never pay attention to compliments which are passed my way. But i have decided to add them to this blog. A teacher in the Kildare school said to me, you have a wonderful lightness about you. Which meant a lot, since she was someone very wise. And a Spanish parent told me, you are always smiling, you are always happy. I know i am not always happy, but i do try to be positive.
Many friends tell me this, and i do think i should listen, right?
I too am a good person. I try my very best. I don't always succeed, but i try. It is a beautiful day today, but i am cleaning the house.
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