24 hour fast
I have decided to do a two hour fast. Just water, no food. Because i sort of need to. Then after that it will be a return to soups and finally just veg. During this fast i will be camping and then after that it will just be the usual school.
I have been feeling very frumpy of late. It wasn't so bad when i came back from Seville. That was great, but the frumpiness began after i started school and started doing the Maypole. I don't feel the same energy i used to. And i feel sort of like round and flabby.
I think it has to do with all the jamon i ate.
Also i think that as you get older you need to work harder at looking after yourself. You need to be more conscious. Which i am not really. I just need to be more aware and it starts today, i suppose is what i am saying. I want to lose about 15 to 20 kg as well. Because i need to.
I have been reading all these questions now about chemotherapy and what a racket it is. I wonder if any of my dearest and nearest got cancer would i put them up for it? If i got cancer myself, would i undergo it? I know people who have refused treatment and preferred to either ride the cancer out and die or to have taken alternative cures and lived. Some have even been declared having gone into remission.
I think if i do a 24 hour fast, eat light for about two days after and then return to a light diet that would be good. I suppose there is a part of me which thinks what else can i do? I have eaten everything i would like to eat and i have done and drunk everything i would have liked to have drunk. I have partied and danced and laughed and completely ecstatic, i think that i don't need to keep doing this, eh?
I sort of look at people who are so so so careful about what they eat and drink in the FEAR of doing the wrong thing, and i mean all their lives they have been this way, and then after that, they end up getting ill anyway. My own sense of things is that i am not doing this to avoid illness, i am doing this in order to feel good, to feel better and i have a sense that i am going to feel better when i do this.
The cult of vanity is very wearing. When i was younger, i ran a lot. My running was very much what i wanted to do. It was something that drove me. I love running. It was simple, modest running. Now it has been taken to the nth level. People used to look at me like i was mad. I think in the whole of Serangoon Gardens, maybe 15 people ran regularly and i was one of them. Now everyone runs and it has become this mad thing where people are competitive and they show off and it has become stressful. Kevin said to me. He had joined a running club and they had gone for a 5km run and when they came back they were all upset because they had not got sub 30 or something like that. He said, seriously, can't they just be happy that they are running? And that's is what it is like for me. Can't people just wear their identities lightly? It is like birding and enjoying nature. I hate going out with people who do this and it becomes a competition with all this stupid gear and equipment and shit. The branded parkas, latest tech - how is it better than people who own cars and race?
Then there is food. Oh don't get me started on the food. I have friends who don't talk about this shit but when i am in the company of people who obsesses about food i just want to tell them to shut up. Food is for eating, for surviving, for living. It is meant to be nutritious and delicious, and it is meant to be savoured simply. You are not meant to go on and on and on about it. Enjoy it, know what good food is, and then shut up. My parents would take us out and they would sit down and try to deconstruct the dish and then cook it back home. That was the extent of the food. And my family - as in my extended family - they knew their food, but they would just eat it and enjoy it SILENTLY - the conversation was about other things, not about the fucking food. It would be about who said what, it would be about OTHER THINGS than the food. Everything now is about the performance, rather than the authenticity of living.
Being in PR, i understand this completely because it is my job to make everything a performance to promote it. BUT why is everything a performance in your life? What are you promoting? What is that about? Why are you promoting yourself and your life? Why do you need to do that?
I wonder where all this will lead? People who are so addicted to being on display that they don't exist, or the thing which they do does not exist, unless they are on display. It is weird.
It is actually damaging. It is also confusing. Previously, i was perfectly happy to blog away, now i wonder, what am i doing, doing this blog, although my mother tells me she reads it and this makes her reassured that i am alive if i don't facetime her. Well i need to get packed for the camping trip. Wish me luck on my 24 hour fast, the beginning of the road of being a healthier me.
I have been feeling very frumpy of late. It wasn't so bad when i came back from Seville. That was great, but the frumpiness began after i started school and started doing the Maypole. I don't feel the same energy i used to. And i feel sort of like round and flabby.
I think it has to do with all the jamon i ate.
Also i think that as you get older you need to work harder at looking after yourself. You need to be more conscious. Which i am not really. I just need to be more aware and it starts today, i suppose is what i am saying. I want to lose about 15 to 20 kg as well. Because i need to.
I have been reading all these questions now about chemotherapy and what a racket it is. I wonder if any of my dearest and nearest got cancer would i put them up for it? If i got cancer myself, would i undergo it? I know people who have refused treatment and preferred to either ride the cancer out and die or to have taken alternative cures and lived. Some have even been declared having gone into remission.
I think if i do a 24 hour fast, eat light for about two days after and then return to a light diet that would be good. I suppose there is a part of me which thinks what else can i do? I have eaten everything i would like to eat and i have done and drunk everything i would have liked to have drunk. I have partied and danced and laughed and completely ecstatic, i think that i don't need to keep doing this, eh?
I sort of look at people who are so so so careful about what they eat and drink in the FEAR of doing the wrong thing, and i mean all their lives they have been this way, and then after that, they end up getting ill anyway. My own sense of things is that i am not doing this to avoid illness, i am doing this in order to feel good, to feel better and i have a sense that i am going to feel better when i do this.
The cult of vanity is very wearing. When i was younger, i ran a lot. My running was very much what i wanted to do. It was something that drove me. I love running. It was simple, modest running. Now it has been taken to the nth level. People used to look at me like i was mad. I think in the whole of Serangoon Gardens, maybe 15 people ran regularly and i was one of them. Now everyone runs and it has become this mad thing where people are competitive and they show off and it has become stressful. Kevin said to me. He had joined a running club and they had gone for a 5km run and when they came back they were all upset because they had not got sub 30 or something like that. He said, seriously, can't they just be happy that they are running? And that's is what it is like for me. Can't people just wear their identities lightly? It is like birding and enjoying nature. I hate going out with people who do this and it becomes a competition with all this stupid gear and equipment and shit. The branded parkas, latest tech - how is it better than people who own cars and race?
Then there is food. Oh don't get me started on the food. I have friends who don't talk about this shit but when i am in the company of people who obsesses about food i just want to tell them to shut up. Food is for eating, for surviving, for living. It is meant to be nutritious and delicious, and it is meant to be savoured simply. You are not meant to go on and on and on about it. Enjoy it, know what good food is, and then shut up. My parents would take us out and they would sit down and try to deconstruct the dish and then cook it back home. That was the extent of the food. And my family - as in my extended family - they knew their food, but they would just eat it and enjoy it SILENTLY - the conversation was about other things, not about the fucking food. It would be about who said what, it would be about OTHER THINGS than the food. Everything now is about the performance, rather than the authenticity of living.
Being in PR, i understand this completely because it is my job to make everything a performance to promote it. BUT why is everything a performance in your life? What are you promoting? What is that about? Why are you promoting yourself and your life? Why do you need to do that?
I wonder where all this will lead? People who are so addicted to being on display that they don't exist, or the thing which they do does not exist, unless they are on display. It is weird.
It is actually damaging. It is also confusing. Previously, i was perfectly happy to blog away, now i wonder, what am i doing, doing this blog, although my mother tells me she reads it and this makes her reassured that i am alive if i don't facetime her. Well i need to get packed for the camping trip. Wish me luck on my 24 hour fast, the beginning of the road of being a healthier me.
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