The Grass Returning Cinnabar

Wukong destroys the Manfruit Tree by Chen Huiguan

Yesterday i tried to think about the next three months. There is an awful lot to get through with the school and the class. I am going to just do what we can. Which will be the Building Main Lesson and then Volume - and of course the Farming stay. And some music.

And of course the times tables carry on apace.

And revision on long division and multiplication and more reading. And we will continue telling the Old Testament.

Been reading more about Moses last night. When i read stuff usually two things are going on in my head. One, i am taking in what is being written. The other is a sort of seeing the writing in a social context. If what is being written is boring or nonsensical i usually stop, and long after that try and work out why such an appalling piece of writing was done. (The reason is usually money.) If what is being written is interesting i continue reading - and then if i have worked out the context, i just enjoy the writing. But if i can't, then it continues grinding away in the background. The Bock book is like that. I am thinking about the social context non stop while continuing to read the writing. It is hard reading stuff like that. But i also keep thinking, why do we need a system? Because we like things to make sense for us. But also then i think, supposing it is how things work - more and more we are discovering the inherent structure in living things - like the soil, for instance. the delicate balance, which is both chaos and order - just because we are continually regulating the both, it does not mean that neither exists... it is hard working for the balance. That is what adaptation is.

So, Bock's take on Moses is he is the development of human consciousness. It is a story which is told over and over again in other cultures. It is just particularly well told in the Old Testament. There are other really good examples of the depiction of human consciousness, like the Journey to the West. And the Pilgrim's Progress. However, the Moses story goes back, into the mists of time - and in many ways, is at the cusp of that taking place. It captures that moment when we leave the world of clairvoyance and enter the world of the 'I'. Each part of Moses' journey is the human consciousness doing that - we all have a Moses inside us - psychologically we all make that trip, and in the light of the incarnating 'I', this forming individuality, i suppose, i was thinking as i read it last night, that is why i got so depressed about those comedies.

It is the 'I' which has been abused. The 'I' which has lost its way. The 'I' which has been painted up and sold at the markets, rather than the 'I' which celebrates the beauty and the flowering of humanity. It is us in the mud, us in the gutter. But i think that at that age, perhaps at the age of late teens and young adulthood, people don't really care about whether they are in the gutter or not because they cannot recognise it. The 'I' still struggles to make itself heard in its nobility. So my reaction needs to be of patience. Rather than my first reaction, which is disgust. Although i do wonder, is it ever a good idea to have these thoughts portrayed so outwardly. I think of the actors who are made to behave in this manner. When they are older, will they regret that they acted in such series? But at that age, no one cares really - in fact i didn't care about stuff like that when i was that age...

Interestingly, last night we read the final bit of the episode where Monkey destroys the Manfruit tree. It is one of amazing episodes where you think, it is much older than the actual story. The point of the Journey to the West is that all of the questers are flawed. Sanzang - the heart - is trapped by this thinking and often paralysed with fear. He does not really see what is in front of him. He is also melancholic. Monkey is anger - he is choleric and he does not think before he does anything. Friar Sand is sanguine - he just goes with the prevailing mood of things. And Pigsy is greed and accumulation. He follows his lustful desires. Amongst the four of them, they manage to destroy the Manfruit tree - a tree which bears fruit which look like babies, which is as old as Heaven and Earth. They then try to run away and are caught by the immortal whose tree it is time and time again. The only things which restores the situation is Kuan Yin who manages to restore the tree through her compassion and mercy. From each hardship, the four of them learn a new lesson. And there is the infinitely patient Kuan Yin. I have so much to learn from her. I must be patient, especially with myself. It would really really help.

And so - as long as we are humble enough to learn lessons from our mistakes i suppose. It is easier said than done.

Right, i am now going to plan the week. Lots of work to be done. We have lost two days already. I feel a lot better now, but i have decided to take things a lot easier. Be kinder to myself. Be kinder to others. Right, time to be moving on. There are Main  Lessons to prepare!