I am ever so not well...

Here's the red squirrel outside our office window. Finally gota shot of him.


Ghin this morning...


Me before the vomiting bug struck...


Ghin on the phone to Mama


Still on the phone.


All cuddled up on the sofa...







The whole family has been smitted by the winter vomiting bug. It's this thing which makes you feel as if you have indigestion, but you're pretty sure that you've not eaten anything untoward. It is extremely annoying and inconvinient. The plus side though is that i've eaten practically nothing at all in the last 48 hours, which is a stark contrast to me one week ago who was eating everything in sight.

But i am also really tired and because things have been so chaotic lately, and disrrupted on account of the snow and Ghin and Oisin and everything else, i just can't take time off work.

I'm also missing appointments, something which i never used to do. I would be late, sure, but forget them completely, never.

I also am totally and utterly fed up with winter. Because we've had such a shit summer, or two shit summers, the entire place feels like a huge moss pit. It feels as if nothing ever gets warmed up. Nothing ever gets dried out.

Of course as i complain, forest fires rage across Australia. As mama would say, Dunia sudah tua. The world is old. That is how i feel. The world is old.

And everything feels as if its teetering on some brink. After being so sure about so many things, the financial geniuses are now predicting nothing less than a financial meltdown. I'm so tired of it all. How many times must we go through this? Aren't they tired too?

I have been previleged to learn so much in this lifetime. My latest lesson is that if someone has been treating you badly for a long time suddenly starts treating you nicely, for no reason, you begin to suspect their intentions. Isn't that so awful? That a part of you would much rather they were treating you badly so that you knew where you stood.

It is a humbling experience. So many things have been humbling lately. This realisation. I'll come onto what else has been humbling, but why is this? Why is it when someone who has been awful to me is suddenly nice, i go, what else is going on in this person's life? Why has s/he suddenly decided to be good to me? Is there a reason for this? Oh it's awful. See if anyone thought that of me, i would die. I mean i am nice to people whom i don't like sometimes because i think, i'd much rather keep the peace and also because i think, maybe one day, i will like them, or one day they won't be so bad.

I wonder if there is a name for this syndrome? The-it's-too-good-to-be-true syndrome perhaps.