No photos again!!
Is it possible to love something that you don't like? It was something i had to ask myself over the weekend...and my answer was yes. Simply because we must love everything, even if we find it detestable because nothing is beyond redemption. I really can't put it in any other terms because i was brought up as a Catholic... but a good example would be Ian Paisley. Could you love Ian Paisley? I'm afraid it is incumbent on all who can to do so. The flip side would be, could you love Gerry Adams? Could you love someone through the wounds they have caused you and leave yourself vulnerable to love? I'm afraid i'm coming to the conclusion that it's the only way. I don't have to like it, but i must love it. It's like when Oisin does something i don't like. I don't say, i stop loving him; i can't in fact. I must say, that thing he did i didn't like - and then i must explain to him why i found it unpleasant or hurtful, or embarrassing. I can't say i detest my son.
So that is my practice currently - loving no matter what. One of the tenants of being a Shambala warrior is being brave/courageous. This consists of being unafraid of yourself. The other is to never give up. And only love has the ability to sustain these incredibly difficult thing. It is almost as if, if you practise with love, these are the result, whether you will them or not. It's like balancing on one foot. You concentrate on the one point and forget about the foot - the balancing then takes care of itself.
I'm really sorry i haven't posted many pictures of the kids lately. I keep leaving the camera in the house. That's not to say that we're not having a great time. It is the most beautiful time of the year with the trees all turning colour and the skies all wild and tossed. Ghin is growing daily. Already he stands so easily with support of course and if you danced with him he'd dance right along. I'm a bit tired now. Watched Brokeback Mountain and loved it. But what was it about? Fear, resposibility, duty? It seemed very Chinese, that sort of self-restraint and hypocrisy coupled with desire and lust, mixed in with glimmerings of love, that was destructive and selfish at the same time. I really can't see how they could sell it as a love story. To me it was a story of tremendous selfishness. People trapped by their bindings being unable to either abide by them or break from them...anyways, i'm being too critical probably. It was very beautifully done...when i think of love, i don't think i ever knew what really love was until a couple of years ago. Everything up to that point was really infatuation and selfishness for me. It was only when i began to piece together my life here again - and especially last year with the pregnancy and all...i'd say that before that it was all very stupid. But then again, i have often said to myself, if i never went through that then i wouldn't have the experiences that i have now and really, i would go through it all again, if it meant that i could now be here.
It sounds really conceited, doesn't it? Well that's how i feel right now.
Time for bed...
So that is my practice currently - loving no matter what. One of the tenants of being a Shambala warrior is being brave/courageous. This consists of being unafraid of yourself. The other is to never give up. And only love has the ability to sustain these incredibly difficult thing. It is almost as if, if you practise with love, these are the result, whether you will them or not. It's like balancing on one foot. You concentrate on the one point and forget about the foot - the balancing then takes care of itself.
I'm really sorry i haven't posted many pictures of the kids lately. I keep leaving the camera in the house. That's not to say that we're not having a great time. It is the most beautiful time of the year with the trees all turning colour and the skies all wild and tossed. Ghin is growing daily. Already he stands so easily with support of course and if you danced with him he'd dance right along. I'm a bit tired now. Watched Brokeback Mountain and loved it. But what was it about? Fear, resposibility, duty? It seemed very Chinese, that sort of self-restraint and hypocrisy coupled with desire and lust, mixed in with glimmerings of love, that was destructive and selfish at the same time. I really can't see how they could sell it as a love story. To me it was a story of tremendous selfishness. People trapped by their bindings being unable to either abide by them or break from them...anyways, i'm being too critical probably. It was very beautifully done...when i think of love, i don't think i ever knew what really love was until a couple of years ago. Everything up to that point was really infatuation and selfishness for me. It was only when i began to piece together my life here again - and especially last year with the pregnancy and all...i'd say that before that it was all very stupid. But then again, i have often said to myself, if i never went through that then i wouldn't have the experiences that i have now and really, i would go through it all again, if it meant that i could now be here.
It sounds really conceited, doesn't it? Well that's how i feel right now.
Time for bed...
