Listen, the universe is singing

It's been more than a month since i have woken up so early in the morning to just myself and my own thoughts. Mostly cos my mom is here and now i wake up to her and conversation. In the Lily and Snake, a strange fairytale by Goethe, the snake asks, what is the most beautiful thing in the world? Light, says the lily. And what is more beautiful than light? it asks again, conversation.

So i've been enjoying soo deeply my conversations with my mother. It is such a joy and blessing to have her here. I know i am lucky to be able to have her here to be with me. And to of course be with the boys.

But this morning i just wanted to have sometime on my own, to come downstairs and to do some thinking at this wonderful time of day when everything is as clear as the still sweet waters of a mountain lake.

As i drink the coffee and sit here, i can hear the birds sing. The sky is clear, the light is brightening, it may be another warm day. It is a truly delicious feeling to be here, a luxury, to drink in the peace this kind of solitude brings. My life is so busy as i look after the boys, sort things out, teach, prepare to teach, work with colleagues, try and get some coursework done. Times like these are crucial to creating a space where i can gather things in and think.

What does the universe say, i wonder, at times like these? After the suffering,  the pleasure, the busy-ness... what does it tell me?

It says, make the most of it. Do not be afraid. You are looked after. You are taken care of. Give infinitely. Love completely, with no fear. Drink in the now. Breathe. Receive. Have faith. Never stop questioning. Delight in the good, the truthful, the beautiful. Change what must be changed, and never stop changing yourself too. When you are weary, give it all over to me. I am strong enough to carry it all.

How could i not live in this beauty? How could i not give thanks? The truth is that beyond very very little i need nothing, and yet i have been blessed with abundance. So how could i not bow my head and be grateful? At moments, in these moments, i feel like a hermit living in the city. Not in an isolated way, by the way hermits observe, sitting like cats - wondering.

At moments like this, i feel like one who has stepped out of time, or else into time. Someone who has said, this morning when i wake up i will remember to listen because, the universe is always, always singing.