Three years of Ghin
We have such incredible weather lately. It snowed yesterday and the snow then stayed. It stayed soft and fluffy and Scandinavian and everywhere was so beautiful. And so it was for Ghin's third birthday.
My baby is three.
If i could i would have another one, but it's just not responsible. So i won't. But bringing up a child is one of the most incredible and miraculous things i have ever done. When so much comes out of the mind, with a child everything is united. Body, mind and soul. You are on a path which is forward and present at the same time. The are no manuals or texts. There are no guarantees. All you have are the whisperings from the ages past, and your own template, and your own hopes and fears - and doing what is right - or what you think is right, and then the failure of not being able to do what is right all the time.
Then there's the not blaming yourself... which hasn't really happened as yet... sometimes i think that i encountered zen so that i could cope with my own life, you know, as part of the growing process. But when i listen to Ghin cry or when he is being especially thran - a word which was invented for him - i think, that's what i did zen for.
He is now in this phase where everything has to be his way or no way at all. He emits this high pitched squeal which functions as a cattle prod. His very own cattle prod. He seems to get along well with people outside the house. At home he is a tyrant. When we played with his trains today, his birthday present, he kept on squealing because he refuses to share it with Oisin.
This results in Oisin, no stranger to the concept of pay back time, sabotaging the game. So he laid obstacles on the paths of the railway tracks. Oh its the greatest fun we have.
Ghin has gotten into the habit of staying up till 11, which is a real pain, especially to Peter who needs to get on with it - his writing and articles. I go to bed with Oisin at 9, and Ghin refuses to do this. He is one of those people whom i think will end up restlessly pacing the floors at night with his mind racing. So Peter has to stay up with him. He eventually goes to bed with me... so last night, we tried getting him to bed with me at 9. It took him almost an hour before he had stopped screaming. I tried everything. Reading, telling stories and singing. Finally i just had to hold him.
I'm stuck, i'm stuck, he squealed, kicking poor Oisin, who had managed to fall asleep despite the screaming and yelling. He finally calmed down and then fell asleep, drenched.
I would post pictures of the birthday celebrations, except that they all turned out very blurred.
So...
Iris Robinson eh? You know, in so many ways she is an excellent role model for women. She's 60, an MP, MLA and councillor. She has had a long-term marriage which seemed happy enough and kids. She looks great for 60 and seems really involved in her constituency. There's the 19 year old lover.
Exactly what was going through her head when she was doing this? And what was going through HIS head? The one on his shoulders. How can anyone trust politicians after this? After Gerry Adams, after Ian Paisley, after the expenses scandal... if they can't be trusted to lead boring, predictable lives for the rest of us, then where is the hope? Does she imagine she's Mick Jagger? If they can't be honest and live their lives with integrity, then why are they where they are?
When you stand for office you think, i want to serve the people. You don't think, i want to screw the people. You don't think i have had a dysfunctional childhood and it is incumbent upon me to unleash my dysfunctionality upon the rest of the world. I didn't have much when i was growing up, so being in politics means that i can then a mass and abuse the people's funds. I can build myself this big fuck off house - which is what she has done - and furnish every room with a different world theme. I can then get my relatives and cronies in the door and then dole out my largesse and favours like some African dictator.
I was reading the life of the Bhudda by Karen Armstrong. I dip in and out of this, and a couple of things struck me. More than ever i understood that Bhuddism, like other pursuits is really the preserve of men. I've written about this before. But the other thing that really stood out this time, and Armstrong also talks about this, is the failure of Bhuddism, even in the Bhudda's time. Of course it has failed now. Supposedly Bhuddism societies are in meltdown like some many others around the world. Thailand, Japan and China - not a good place to be. But as Bhudda grew old, his friends, many of whom were royalty, were beginning to be betrayed by their children or regimes. One was killed, one was exiled. Bhudda's sangha was rife with politics as his nemesis Devaddatta who had entered it began plotting against him. He even tried squashing him with a boulder. It was fairly comical in parts.
His favourite disciple, Anada is made to look loyal, but a little dim and he dies of either food poisoning or being poisoned.
It's not a pretty picture.
I am grateful for the techniques i've learnt in Bhuddism, but i do think that it isn't as important as actually incorporating its teachings in one's daily life. To be present for everyone. To be honest about the way we are behaving, to take responsibility for our feelings and then to have the courage to be the people that we are. You can only meditate so much - after that it becomes a head trip. It also become annoying. People begin to think, you're a hypocrite. You do all this meditation and praying, and you behave like a dickhead/prick/cunt in real life. (Alas poor Iris! She knew this well.)
For incredible Bhuddist inspirations, no one comes closer than Thich Nat Hanh. Someone who has ensured the spiritual path is one of loving kindness and action. For someone like him working with the ego is probably their most difficult challenge. To not get a kick from doing what he does. It is difficult not to bloom when someone praises you. To not believe the rumours that you are wonderful. But at the same time to not self disparage. Humility and integrity.
And that's why i think that doing simple, wholesome, honest things like housework, like growing your own veg, like cooking, like volunteering is good for the soul. It keeps you rooted. It never lets you forget that you are human - the wonder and the temporal nature of our being. It connects us with the earth, with the people around us. Parts of our day should be about service, it is an offering, a puja, to our existence here.
Perhaps Iris should be made given a community work order. To do the garbage collection, or work in a local community centre. Plant some trees, join CVNI. It would do her a world of good.
My baby is three.
If i could i would have another one, but it's just not responsible. So i won't. But bringing up a child is one of the most incredible and miraculous things i have ever done. When so much comes out of the mind, with a child everything is united. Body, mind and soul. You are on a path which is forward and present at the same time. The are no manuals or texts. There are no guarantees. All you have are the whisperings from the ages past, and your own template, and your own hopes and fears - and doing what is right - or what you think is right, and then the failure of not being able to do what is right all the time.
Then there's the not blaming yourself... which hasn't really happened as yet... sometimes i think that i encountered zen so that i could cope with my own life, you know, as part of the growing process. But when i listen to Ghin cry or when he is being especially thran - a word which was invented for him - i think, that's what i did zen for.
He is now in this phase where everything has to be his way or no way at all. He emits this high pitched squeal which functions as a cattle prod. His very own cattle prod. He seems to get along well with people outside the house. At home he is a tyrant. When we played with his trains today, his birthday present, he kept on squealing because he refuses to share it with Oisin.
This results in Oisin, no stranger to the concept of pay back time, sabotaging the game. So he laid obstacles on the paths of the railway tracks. Oh its the greatest fun we have.
Ghin has gotten into the habit of staying up till 11, which is a real pain, especially to Peter who needs to get on with it - his writing and articles. I go to bed with Oisin at 9, and Ghin refuses to do this. He is one of those people whom i think will end up restlessly pacing the floors at night with his mind racing. So Peter has to stay up with him. He eventually goes to bed with me... so last night, we tried getting him to bed with me at 9. It took him almost an hour before he had stopped screaming. I tried everything. Reading, telling stories and singing. Finally i just had to hold him.
I'm stuck, i'm stuck, he squealed, kicking poor Oisin, who had managed to fall asleep despite the screaming and yelling. He finally calmed down and then fell asleep, drenched.
I would post pictures of the birthday celebrations, except that they all turned out very blurred.
So...
Iris Robinson eh? You know, in so many ways she is an excellent role model for women. She's 60, an MP, MLA and councillor. She has had a long-term marriage which seemed happy enough and kids. She looks great for 60 and seems really involved in her constituency. There's the 19 year old lover.
Exactly what was going through her head when she was doing this? And what was going through HIS head? The one on his shoulders. How can anyone trust politicians after this? After Gerry Adams, after Ian Paisley, after the expenses scandal... if they can't be trusted to lead boring, predictable lives for the rest of us, then where is the hope? Does she imagine she's Mick Jagger? If they can't be honest and live their lives with integrity, then why are they where they are?
When you stand for office you think, i want to serve the people. You don't think, i want to screw the people. You don't think i have had a dysfunctional childhood and it is incumbent upon me to unleash my dysfunctionality upon the rest of the world. I didn't have much when i was growing up, so being in politics means that i can then a mass and abuse the people's funds. I can build myself this big fuck off house - which is what she has done - and furnish every room with a different world theme. I can then get my relatives and cronies in the door and then dole out my largesse and favours like some African dictator.
I was reading the life of the Bhudda by Karen Armstrong. I dip in and out of this, and a couple of things struck me. More than ever i understood that Bhuddism, like other pursuits is really the preserve of men. I've written about this before. But the other thing that really stood out this time, and Armstrong also talks about this, is the failure of Bhuddism, even in the Bhudda's time. Of course it has failed now. Supposedly Bhuddism societies are in meltdown like some many others around the world. Thailand, Japan and China - not a good place to be. But as Bhudda grew old, his friends, many of whom were royalty, were beginning to be betrayed by their children or regimes. One was killed, one was exiled. Bhudda's sangha was rife with politics as his nemesis Devaddatta who had entered it began plotting against him. He even tried squashing him with a boulder. It was fairly comical in parts.
His favourite disciple, Anada is made to look loyal, but a little dim and he dies of either food poisoning or being poisoned.
It's not a pretty picture.
I am grateful for the techniques i've learnt in Bhuddism, but i do think that it isn't as important as actually incorporating its teachings in one's daily life. To be present for everyone. To be honest about the way we are behaving, to take responsibility for our feelings and then to have the courage to be the people that we are. You can only meditate so much - after that it becomes a head trip. It also become annoying. People begin to think, you're a hypocrite. You do all this meditation and praying, and you behave like a dickhead/prick/cunt in real life. (Alas poor Iris! She knew this well.)
For incredible Bhuddist inspirations, no one comes closer than Thich Nat Hanh. Someone who has ensured the spiritual path is one of loving kindness and action. For someone like him working with the ego is probably their most difficult challenge. To not get a kick from doing what he does. It is difficult not to bloom when someone praises you. To not believe the rumours that you are wonderful. But at the same time to not self disparage. Humility and integrity.
And that's why i think that doing simple, wholesome, honest things like housework, like growing your own veg, like cooking, like volunteering is good for the soul. It keeps you rooted. It never lets you forget that you are human - the wonder and the temporal nature of our being. It connects us with the earth, with the people around us. Parts of our day should be about service, it is an offering, a puja, to our existence here.
Perhaps Iris should be made given a community work order. To do the garbage collection, or work in a local community centre. Plant some trees, join CVNI. It would do her a world of good.
Comments