Breathing out

Bathtime babies. Ghin and Oisin as they go through the morning ablutions. The red bath holder is a fab invention. It holds Ghin perfectly and he just works away!!!





Waffle sales at Steiner. Oisin and Finn contribute to Judith's class fund.

Was my first day at a Mothers' and Toddlers' group. It was at Holywood and that's where the picture of Ghin intently playing with said colourful stuffed thing comes from. The first thing i noticed was it was noisy. A general, mind numbing din that was made even louder by the walls of the church hall. Where there are children, there must be noise - but does the noise have to be amplified so that all talk and thought is chased into oblivion? I dream of a place which is outdoors, that children can run around safely in and parents can sit, with their tea and friends, watching. Being activists. Enjoying oursevles.

The weather has broken and the relief of the rain and cold is not to be underestimated. I love the heat as much as the next person, but at the right time and right place. July in May is as unwelcome as December in June, and it does make me worry. What also makes me worry is our holidaying in Singapore. This time i tell myself, it's about seeing Mama and showing her Ghin. The next time, i would like us to meet somewhere else. Like India. Or New York. Or why not a thatched cottage in Donegal. Sometimes i think, maybe staying half way across the world wasn't such a good idea. I never really counted on getting along so well with the family in this late age. I really do miss them. I miss the little things. Sometimes when Ma tells me she's just been for breakfast i masochistically ask her to tell me what she had. Pe tan choke. Murtabak. Teh peng. I moan in real pain. Simple things.

The whole biofuels debate is kicking off. I have always maintained that it was a stupid idea. Who'd ever thought of using energy to cultivate crops which you then put into your car...It's loco. Which is exactly what scientists are saying now. As we fly over Johore when we go home, your blood runs cold as you see unbroken miles and miles of oil palm. Recently, i was thinking about Endau Rompin and how its inhabitants are. Endau Rompin is not the latest set in the Star Wars trilogy, but the oldest rainforest in the world - which is situated in Johore. I went to it prepared with three bottles of insect repellent, only to find that there wasn't a single mosquito. This was how perfect the eco system was. Monkeys, instead of bothering us, stayed away. Gibbons called high and loud from tree tops. Millipedes as thick as a man's thumb and a foot long sashayed across paths. A waterfalls blessed the place. It was truly a sacred site. And what do we have right next to it? An oil palm plantation of course. If you have ever seen one of these sterile tracts of land, and then experienced the richness of the rainforest, you'll see the grand larceny that takes place as the rainforest is clearcut to make way for this most horrendous of short term gains. If i ever returned to Singapore, that's what i would do - campaign for the rainforest. It's such a fucking cliche, i know.

Sunset over Belfast. No matter where you are, sunset is always the same. If you take a minute, a second to observe, you enter that stillness, that pause just before the world moves on and night sets in. The collective sigh, the exhalation of breath. The light leaching through the sky and settling across the roofs, tree tops, mirrored lake surfaces. Another day, we made it though another day.