The running out of underwear

We give so much to our chldren - we really do. Mothers i know pay a kind of insurance now so that their babies will grow up happy, whole, cared for - most of all, by themselves. Oisin says that i love him, Peter loves him, Ghin loves him and he loves himself. That is important i say, it is important that he loves himself and yet...oh the surprising things that you learn about yourself when you have someone who depends so wholly on you...like now he has started taking up mannerisms which are not his, which are imitated and it's driving me nuts. The streetsmarts that you get in cartoons, in other children, it makes me want to throttle him. When did my little darling become an obnoxious twerp? Was that supposed to happen before his sixth birthday? When did he start talking back like that? And it gets WORSE???? Surely not. And this desire to throttle him? How did i feel when my mother disapproved of what i did, and yet, yet, isn't it my responsibility at some stage to stop him from behaving like an insufferable know-it-all? Am i a bad mother as a result? And then, the phase passes, like clouds across the moon and my baby is back, in my arms, on my lap, being my adorable six year old again.

Ghin has been going through a mad eating phase. In Donegal he latched onto me for four hours and didn't let go. I was hoping to spend a quiet afternoon in bed, feeding him for a bit and then sleeping, when he just insisted on feeding from 2 - 6. How can any baby have so much stomach in him? And he now poos in three to four day cycles. What's that's about then? I joke, he's saving it for Christmas, but the child health care person said that the milk is so well digested that he doesn't need to poo too often. Still though, can a baby have constipation on breastmilk?

We spent the last three days in Belfast. A combination of hormones and messy house made me slightly teary. But i managed to keep the plates spinning and forged on. Liz turned up today for a girly session and held Ghin while i got hold of the laundry hamper and shook it like a tree. Loads of clothes were done and now every available radiator in the house is covered in some garment or other. I also managed to transfer all my clothes to the new wardrobe and it is now clear that our old way of storing clothes was far mor efficient. While it - the new wardrobe - does look neater, somehow we managed to cram all the clothes we have now into two old iron clothes rails, and then some.

One of the side effects of tidying the wardrobe is the unearthing of all my old clothes when i was a size 8. By my calculation, i should be losing one size a month before i get to Singapore. I want to wear all those fab clothes again. And so i shall. No more chocolate bars/biscuits/cake/icecream/steamed pudding...anyway, and i will walk for two hours everyday while we are in Donegal. Anyhow, the sweet tooth has seems to be disappearing. Today i felt positively sick ingesting the fair trade chocolate biscuits we got over Easter. Still that might be a phase too - i was reading about when you need to start feeding your baby solids, since Ghin is now starting to take my hand to shove it into his mouth when he gets the chance. Yesterday he tried eating the remote control. Luckily he only managed to cover it in drool. However, you don't start till 4 months at least, and i can't quite imagine how i'm going to keep up with the feeding for yet another month. Luckily i don't have to imagine this, as i will soon be a reality.

It does feel really good to have the place in order again. And i also feel great that when we get back i won't be confronted with an accusingly ovefilled laundry basket. You think i'm exaggerating, but i knew it was critical when Oisin ran out of underwear.

I'm going to write in my journal now. Ghin seems to have decided to sleep tonight. I watched a bit of Sex in the City, the 20 vs 30 year olds, and now that i'm the age which these women were when the series was aired, i have some empathy with them. I can't remember being 20 something, you know. I have always felt out of step with my age. When i was 20 something i felt much older. Now i feel much younger. Here in the West there is an obsession with staying young which i find bizarre. I may not feel the way i say i do about being old when i'm 60, but why would anyone want to try and stay forever young?

And speaking about age...Peter turned 46 there last week - one week ago exactly. He got a Jon Snow tie from Smyth & Gibson and a little poster from Ghin and Oisin. It's been great updating the blog - and a big up to Linda who says she reads it everyday. Love ya.