Love and spit
Today i asked Oisin what kisses were made of. Love and spit was the answer. Love though was thought to be the more important ingredient. Preparations for the birth continue a pace. I had dinner with Marie today. It was one of those conversations which ranged all over the place. From cooking beetroot to Lacan and the id. When we finally did touch on the birth preparations, it became clear that i needed to be a bit more informal and enjoy myself a bit more. And i will. I'm sort of putting money on the days between the 10th and 12th, although, i did think that the baby would be much earlier - as in around Christmas - but that might have been wishful thinking.
Doing a home birth has been a fascinating experience. It is clear that it's still in its infancy as an activity here because when you tell most people that you are having one, you are treated as a pioneer or a headcase. Most of my friends, i'm pleased to say, have given me all the loving encouragement which a pioneer might need. The rest of society has reacted as if i've decided to jump off a cliff.
It would be great to write a manual for having a home birth. First you'd have to start with reassuring the person about the decision - and then encouraging them about getting in touch with people who are advocates of home births because if it wasn't for people like Jill, Lisa and other friends, it could have been a lonely decision. But they have all been so wonderful. Some advantages of a home birth are, apart from the usual stats like in the case of normal deliveries, there is less of a risk of intervention - i.e. you're less likely to be prodded at by hospital staff - and the risks to mother and child are the same, if not better, in terms of a stress free delivery.
I've orchestrated the birth along the three stages which i'm hoping will occur. The first stage, will be opened with me calling midwives and birthing partners, and then drumming, clearing space, on my own as i prepare for the birth. Then it should be very informal and party like - as many people around as possible, with plenty of giggling, eating and drinking - perhaps watching some tv, but just the excitement of the delivery creating a quiet and pleasurable party atmosphere.
The second stage, the transition, when the real labour pains start will hopefully be accompanied by a lot of movement, walking, and encouragement/support from those present - even baths - and i intend to spend as little time as possible in bed.
Finally, the third stage will see me and midwives and birthing partners retire to the bedroom for the final pushing and delivery. There'll be a blessing ceremony after the birth, with music, candles and poetry. I've asked for the placenta to stop pulsing before the cord is cut and for its delivery to be natural, without the aid of whatever toxin they inject into you.
That's the intention. Bearing in mind the whale music didn't get a look in the last time, i'm keeping a fairly detached view of the whole thing.
I am actually amazed at the amount drug companies make out of birth. Something which should be done on a fairly low budget, low impact manner, becomes a mind-boggling array of choices which serve to undermine the woman's sense that she can do this on her own. For instance, there are AT LEAST 6 injections associated with a delivery where choices are offered by professionals and then recommended to the woman/imposed on her body and the body of her child: induction (which is a drip) and used more often than not for the consultant's convenience, epidural (again, unnecessary and increases the use of vacuum or forceps delivery), pathedine (a painkiller which passes into the placenta and delivers drowsy babies - studies have also linked alcoholism to babies which have received high dosages of pathedine), that jab to deliver the placenta more quickly and as a prophylactic against hemorrhaging, which shouldn't happen in 99 per cent of normal deliveries, now they also offer Vit K jabs for new born babies - which is charming, welcome to the world, oh by the way, here's an injection, and finally, i was offered a TB jab for the baby because i'm Singaporean - even though i have never had TB and have lived here for the past nine years. I do not deny hospitals and the medics are important if there are dire emergencies, but where something as natural as child birth is concerned, women really do need to reclaim that space. Of course the disempowerment and arrogance that comes with the package is also undesired. This goes without her being hooked up to various machines which then make birth a distinctly uncomfortable and frightening experience.
Apart from having all this taken out of the equation, there is the fact that you are in your own private space, on your own turf, you are surrounded by friends and family to supprt you in the comfort of the home. There is also the possibility of reclaiming the joyous and human experience of birth - and i must say because i have been so involved in the preparations this time, as my friends have been as well, i do feel supported for whatever eventuality may arise. And of course one cannot say what may arise as the doors between life and death swing open. I wish that all women are given this as a first choice, rather than something which is weird and wacky which only hippies undertake. That i do not have to deal with strangers in an institutional environment means everything to me.
So reassurance. And then there's the preparations - steps to take to organise a homebirth and all the options available. And then there the actual organisation and the realisation of it. There is one drawback - i do wish that it did feel less like a Blue Peter rummaging around and sticky back plastic experience - and that there was a one stop shop which provided all the kit for a homebirth. From the birthing pool, birthing ball and waterproof sheet, music, candles, aromatheraphy, crystals, etc, etc. It would be a lovely small business to run i think. Together with all things natural for babies, lovely books and an organic cafe.
Anyways, i have a lot to be thinking about and compiling when the birth is over. I put out the intention to have a loving, supported and euphoric birth to the universe - and i'm sure she will deliver.
Doing a home birth has been a fascinating experience. It is clear that it's still in its infancy as an activity here because when you tell most people that you are having one, you are treated as a pioneer or a headcase. Most of my friends, i'm pleased to say, have given me all the loving encouragement which a pioneer might need. The rest of society has reacted as if i've decided to jump off a cliff.
It would be great to write a manual for having a home birth. First you'd have to start with reassuring the person about the decision - and then encouraging them about getting in touch with people who are advocates of home births because if it wasn't for people like Jill, Lisa and other friends, it could have been a lonely decision. But they have all been so wonderful. Some advantages of a home birth are, apart from the usual stats like in the case of normal deliveries, there is less of a risk of intervention - i.e. you're less likely to be prodded at by hospital staff - and the risks to mother and child are the same, if not better, in terms of a stress free delivery.
I've orchestrated the birth along the three stages which i'm hoping will occur. The first stage, will be opened with me calling midwives and birthing partners, and then drumming, clearing space, on my own as i prepare for the birth. Then it should be very informal and party like - as many people around as possible, with plenty of giggling, eating and drinking - perhaps watching some tv, but just the excitement of the delivery creating a quiet and pleasurable party atmosphere.
The second stage, the transition, when the real labour pains start will hopefully be accompanied by a lot of movement, walking, and encouragement/support from those present - even baths - and i intend to spend as little time as possible in bed.
Finally, the third stage will see me and midwives and birthing partners retire to the bedroom for the final pushing and delivery. There'll be a blessing ceremony after the birth, with music, candles and poetry. I've asked for the placenta to stop pulsing before the cord is cut and for its delivery to be natural, without the aid of whatever toxin they inject into you.
That's the intention. Bearing in mind the whale music didn't get a look in the last time, i'm keeping a fairly detached view of the whole thing.
I am actually amazed at the amount drug companies make out of birth. Something which should be done on a fairly low budget, low impact manner, becomes a mind-boggling array of choices which serve to undermine the woman's sense that she can do this on her own. For instance, there are AT LEAST 6 injections associated with a delivery where choices are offered by professionals and then recommended to the woman/imposed on her body and the body of her child: induction (which is a drip) and used more often than not for the consultant's convenience, epidural (again, unnecessary and increases the use of vacuum or forceps delivery), pathedine (a painkiller which passes into the placenta and delivers drowsy babies - studies have also linked alcoholism to babies which have received high dosages of pathedine), that jab to deliver the placenta more quickly and as a prophylactic against hemorrhaging, which shouldn't happen in 99 per cent of normal deliveries, now they also offer Vit K jabs for new born babies - which is charming, welcome to the world, oh by the way, here's an injection, and finally, i was offered a TB jab for the baby because i'm Singaporean - even though i have never had TB and have lived here for the past nine years. I do not deny hospitals and the medics are important if there are dire emergencies, but where something as natural as child birth is concerned, women really do need to reclaim that space. Of course the disempowerment and arrogance that comes with the package is also undesired. This goes without her being hooked up to various machines which then make birth a distinctly uncomfortable and frightening experience.
Apart from having all this taken out of the equation, there is the fact that you are in your own private space, on your own turf, you are surrounded by friends and family to supprt you in the comfort of the home. There is also the possibility of reclaiming the joyous and human experience of birth - and i must say because i have been so involved in the preparations this time, as my friends have been as well, i do feel supported for whatever eventuality may arise. And of course one cannot say what may arise as the doors between life and death swing open. I wish that all women are given this as a first choice, rather than something which is weird and wacky which only hippies undertake. That i do not have to deal with strangers in an institutional environment means everything to me.
So reassurance. And then there's the preparations - steps to take to organise a homebirth and all the options available. And then there the actual organisation and the realisation of it. There is one drawback - i do wish that it did feel less like a Blue Peter rummaging around and sticky back plastic experience - and that there was a one stop shop which provided all the kit for a homebirth. From the birthing pool, birthing ball and waterproof sheet, music, candles, aromatheraphy, crystals, etc, etc. It would be a lovely small business to run i think. Together with all things natural for babies, lovely books and an organic cafe.
Anyways, i have a lot to be thinking about and compiling when the birth is over. I put out the intention to have a loving, supported and euphoric birth to the universe - and i'm sure she will deliver.
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