Shiva's and Metta's Mother's Sutra

The Desert of the Real sounds like a mythical place, but it is a phrase coined by Jean Baudrillard and made famous by the Wachoiskis in The Matrix. Here Morpheus says to Neo, as they sit in the simulation of the everyday world - how it is manufactured and there is nothing which exists. In other words, it is Baurdrillard's simulacrum, which we live in, write large. Nothing is as it seems. We are not in Kansas but more than that Oz is also a dream, more like Wonderland. Except in the Matrix, Wonderful is not Wonderful. It never is.  It is kinda odd that it is now taken over by the far right to demonstrate how we are being enslaved by the elite. Certainly in my time, when I first watched it waaaaay back in 1999... maybe 1998 or 97 - whenever it came out anyway, it was embraced by the Left, the dissidents. The people who protested in Seattle, the people who later went on to start the Occupy Wall Street movement. The anti-WTO movement. This is why all these summits now take place in far...

Everyday when I encounter stupidity I think of my connection to the wider verse. I am better than this, no not the stupidity, I am better than my reaction to it. I really am... and I go on. For instance, yesterday I not only emptied the car, I managed to organise everything in piles which I have never done. So I know which books now go where. I have a set of books which goes like this: 1. Novels and Critical Theory 2. Mythology and mysticism, including folktales 3. How to do books, especially on art, gardening, herbalism 4. Feminism 5. Steiner/ anthoposophy books 6. Steiner education books - theory, how to teach 7. Primary texts e.g. Ancient Rome, astronomy, Brothers' Grimm, etc 8. Art books Yeah, I think that's it. And it is wonderful. Really really wonderful. And my clothes, that has inspired me to live more frugally and more healthily. The goal: by the end of this year to fit into 70% of what I have.  Yes, no biggie. But also organising all my things brought me back to mysel...

I rearranged my entire room yesterday - all the clothes in it and this morning will do the same with the car. Then I'll take it and get it sorted - the wiper, hoover it, everything really. Then I'll do the finances. It is most annoying that I can't go to the house and keep emptying it. I will need to do that again for a few more times. I have already decided where the books are going to go. The wall in front of the upstairs toilet will have all the novels. The walls in the study, my Steiner books. The wall in the Games room my gardening, cooking and art books. The walls in the dining room... and so on and so forth. I got up at 7.30 and a planned had already formed. I am killing it today. I am getting on top of everything. Everything. So many things have happened as time has gone by. It is strange to be given a new beginning at this age. I think of someone with a new baby at the age of 60. 60. That is insane. And the person who is with them. I do have the regret that I did n...

That took no time at all. The nicest part of all of this is... 1. Overcoming the fear factor It was awful, yes, having to go back and sift through the ruins of my life. My life which I tried so so so hard to create, to make, to piece together. My life which I could never glue in because the pieces were missing and broken and it wasn't my fault. Not really, not at the end... but as I looked through what could be salvaged, treasure. Beautiful pieces from my life. My wonderful books, my clothes which have inspired me to be more healthy. I know I never need to every buy anything ever again as long as I get my act together. Just things... thing after thing after thing which means so much to me. I never have to buy stationery again. Not a single scrap of paper. Never having to buy cloth! Never have to buy clothes. Never have to buy anything apart from food which I could certainly buy less of. It is just pure unadulterated liberation and freedom. And when it was done I was lighter. Walkin...

It has been a very busy whirlwind of a week. I have never been so exhausted in my life. Well, that's not true. I have. During the last session of Forest School that's when. But yeah, The classroom is ready and it looks amazing. Delighted. I went to the house and i got all the books which were mine - including the children's books. I then discovered of course that the children's library were mostly books which I had bought for the boys. I had bought mostly all of the books. Or they were given by friends. As Emma said the book not bought by me were the books which the boys asked for. Anime graphic novels then. I got most of the clothes out of the cupboard until I couldn't get them anymore. I don't have a lot of stuff in the house is the upshot of all this. The next step will be sorting through everything which is what I'll do after I do this entry. The effect of the full moon has waned but left its treasure. I truly understand it is not me, it is them. When Oi...

I completed the classroom - well almost. The drawers in my desk have yet to be done, but that is easy. But yes it is done! Hooray!!!! Worked my ass off. Well still much left of it, no worries about it every going anywhere my ass. I also go Matthew's thing advertised and finally have more or less wrapped my head around everything. Tomorrow I put the curriculum together. It has been swimming around my head and I've tried many times... but today I'm really going to pin it down.  The first class is always terrifying. We are getting to know each other and over the course of the years will get to know each other better and better. It has been such an amazing journey. But the blessings of Ix Chel and the moon continue. I continue to tune into the unctuous wonder of her light and the strength she brings me. I continue to draw the resonance of her teachings. I never believed in vibrational frequency before, but here it is. Vibrating in an unlimited way. It seems so frustrating that ...

Yesterday something very odd took place. I had woken up to go and get Oisín from Yaks. I knew it was the full moon. Absolutely. We got home and were laughing all the way. Really life with Oisín and Ghin is very simple. There is a lot of levity when they are around. After I fixed Ghin a toast and Oisín disappeared to talk to his friend, I could not sleep. So I headed down stairs to do some writing.  Over the past few months, I had been feeling a bit afraid. I was afraid that my brain was going. My writing had deserted me - that had never happened before and this time round the running was also problematic. Recovery wasn't the usual achey painy recovery. It was more in the hip joints...In a word, I felt I was growing old.  OK two words.  So I decided that I would write about that. It came into my head, like a whisper. Think about this. The changes you are going through. I began to think about my body. My skin on my arms in particular. There is a strange patch which was neve...