Monday, 10 July 2017

Use it or lose it

Sunrise filters through the mango trees
Mangoes fall every morning on the road outside our house and
birds come down to eat them. They call all morning, in the cool sunrise, until about
8 am... and then they settle down for the day.
It is quite quite magical.
I have gone running for five days in a row now. Some days are better than others. Yesterday i went swimming after the running. I was rewarded with a gorgeous sunrise that followed a moonset and then a tropical rainshower. There is nothing like walking in a tropical rainshower. The water is warm and the breeze is cool. It is utterly liberating.

I now understand that we must use our bodies, or lose them. Having run for years and years now, on and off, i an deeply grateful to whatever it was in my head which told me to put on a pair of running shoes and head off to the park. I will never forget my first runs. They were tough. I was only fifteen, but i walked and then ran and then one day i was running and i was then running five, ten kilometres. I ran cross country. I ran and then i swam and then i cycled. These are my three sports. I really want to take up horse riding again as well. I think this and my writing and piano playing i want to concentrate on when i return to Ireland. I feel the future calling, as it did once when i was fifteen to go running - and why that was, i do not know. But once again it calls, once more, in the same way, and i must answer to it.

Having been unstressed now for five days, i feel the wishing to be alive feeling climb out of me again. The sense that i can once more take on the world and win. But not in an obnoxious way. You know, the way in which you can do something with skill and feel delighted with the thing which you have done. But i think that is the lesson i must take. Somehow, i don't know how, i need to manage my time better. I simply can't be doing what i do on a daily basis. And man, i feel fantastic not taking any alcohol either. In fact, it feels like i have come out the other side.

Now, i know i have no health problems yet, but i have noticed that i can't eat more than i should anymore. If i overeat even slightly, i feel quite sick. So, i think this is also a good development.

In Singapore, i have breakfast, a very small snack, mostly fruit - pineapples and lychees - yesterday, and then i have dinner. This really works for me because i don't feel bloated and overfull. Together with the running and swimming, i am hoping to emerge from these six weeks completely relaxed, refreshed and ready to take on the school year.

So far the Romans have been terrible. I find them completely insane. I can't relate to them at all. I am reading this book by Tom Holland and the more i find out about them the more i wonder how could anyone have operated in this system. No wonder Calligula was able to exist. It is terrible. And there are so many lessons for our time. I can't even begin to enumerate the parallels between the stupid mistakes we are making now and the stupid mistakes they made then. Do we never learn?

Perhaps over the next few days some clarity about my situation will emerge and the future will appear clearer, especially what i need to do.

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