Monday, 20 March 2017

Bird song

The nicest thing about running at dawn in March is the birdsong and the way the sky gets lighter and lighter as you continue the run. I went out at quarter past five today. Everyday is a new day i tell myself. I am glad that my theory about taking two days to recover is right. Now with the sap rising, i am hoping that I am really going to be able to enjoy the spring.

I have decided that this year is the year of me getting mt act together physically and writingly as well. I have always sort of fitting them around other things i was doing school, forest school,whatever the hell else i was doing, but this time, i am going to totally concentrate on this. Really make an effort to pay attention to my body and once again returning it to being fit. In the past few years when i lost weight i sort of lost weight not through being fit. I lost it through dieting. It was not really a choice. For instance i was on a forced diet in Harapan. No alcohol, no midnight snacking, no large portions. Now it is all about making sure i exercise daily and just get things sorted for myself.

I LOVE running anyway. Of all the exercises i have ever undertaken it is my favourite. I can run for hours and hours and hours. It doesn't matter how long i haven't run, it isn't like someone starting from never having run at all. As soon as i put on my shoes, i just get going and i don't stop. Now it is a SLOW run, but it is a run nonetheless and after that sit ups and stretching. I have also decided that if i don't do this first thing then it doesn't happen. To this end, i also think that i need to write after i go running, rather than wait till 9, which i what i wanted to do initially. So run at 5 and then write at 6. Then piano for a few minutes - twenty minutes or so and then i wake the boys. I think it will work. All work prep will take place in the evening. I often just end up reading around the subjects i'm teaching anyway so work prep is really about consolidating everything which i have read.

The weather today is a bit dull and grey now, but it could brighten up. Four years ago we had snow. Snow for about two weeks. That was amazing. Now spring is really on its way and everything is really quite awake now.

I have been reading this book called the Risen and Etheric Christ. I think that a lot of anthroposophical writing is a bit strange. I find it very couched in terms which i naturally resist. For instance, sexuality is seen through a rather male lens. Many anthroposophical writers are male. For awhile now i have been reading about the Fourth Dimension from various sources, listening to documentaries, etc. I think that it is a pointless exercise to think about the Fourth Dimension. I see no evidence that we are able to enhance our lives if we know this bit of our universe exists. I also don't trust our idiocy to not make a mess of the Fourth Dimension. I think it should be left alone, if it is indeed there. My attitude to it is my attitude to space exploration. Which is, sort the fucking mess out here first before you start going into space. What is the point of going to Mars if you can't look after the plastic waste stream on our planet? You fucking idiots. Sort out the basics before you get onto a project which we will inevitably do badly.

So, sort out how we love each other, take care of each other becfore becoming godbotherers in the Fourth dimension, that is what i say.

Do i believe that a fourth dimension exists? I believe that there is an unseen world which we can intimate but we cannot know for certain. And what is wrong with that? What is this mania to know everything? We simply cannot know anything. You dont know the thoughts or the biography of the person sitting next to you, what are your chances of knowing what really consists of the fourth dimension and what would be the point anyway of doing this? So stupid.

It is really all about personal glory and exploitation. Well if we have not managed to find a good reason for finding the fourth dimension beyond the Nobel prize and the bottom line, then i think we should just wind our necks in and concentrate on things which we CAN solve, things which need our urgent attention.

To this end, i am going to sort out my pile of things to be administrated this evening after i help Oisin with his pile of things to be studied.

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