Sunday, 13 March 2016

Embarrassingly great

So we have had an embarrassingly great day. Went running, cooked, hung out, laughed, watched a film and of course, did the fecking laundry and cleaned the house. Not hoover though, could not bring myself to do that - 'shiver'.

Island by Ghin


But still, a great day. I read Riding the Ox Home which was really easy to do and a thought struck me, what if the entire process was living all nine stages at the same time? Because i identified with each stage - and most of all, whenever i thought, yeah, i can do that, something else turns up and goes, what do you think of this? And then i trip and fall, arms out to break the fall, i get up wrist broken, and fed up, BUT i think the trick is to never say die. Just keep saying to yourself, well, it does not matter HOW MANY TIMES i have to do this, i cannot give up because there is no other way. There is no turning back because really, that is not progress. I just have to go on this path because... just because.

The thing is that everytime there is a breakthrough i feel it - the tiny glimpse of purple mountains, the tinest glimpse of diamonds in water. And it is for those moments... each one, despite their nanosecondness lasts forever - a tantalising tease of the possible, and really over the past week doing the class play i have had so many of those moments - letting go and trusting the process. Going well, i don't know where this is going, but if this is what they want, then this is something which we could go with. It is really quite magical.

So i think that is why nature is so powerful. Nature is that state disembodied. Nature is a reflection of what we could have inside us and why should we want it to be inside us when it is already outside us? Because we were born to do this - this is what the human being is - that instrument of transformation and when it transforms the already sublime, what could we not achieve. The paradox though is that it is the EFFORT of transformation which counts, not the actual product. The process of transformation is the thing which brings us to this wonderful place. Actually getting there - that is just the by product. But also it isn't the by product - it is a sign you have succeeded.

You can see why Calvanism is so attractive. I mean misguided, but attractive. Sorta like Zoolander. So here is some Blue Steel.


My Skullcandy headphones - sometimes you just gotta spoil yerself




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