Saturday, 6 February 2016

Cleaning out

Today has been a day of down time mixed with busy time mixed with sick time. I can feel a cold coming on - i need only hold on till the end of the week. It is sort of tickling at my nose and my bones are also sore. It will be alright. I told myself that i won't get sick until the end of the week. The winds have not stopped since Storm Desmond and that back in December. It has been constant - the branches shivering on the trees, the clouds racing at a heart breaking speed. The skies low and menacing. Everything is now cold and wet.

Tonight i am planning to clean up the study room. It has bits and pieces in it since last summer that need sorted. There is a bag with all sort of things in it. I want to be a study again, where i can nudge myself into when i am wide awake at 3 am and then i can go in there and do things.

I also told myself that today was going to be the day that i got my shit together, properly. My running and my diet and my fitness and my thinking. It has been very draining the past couple of weeks. I don't know what to do, but certainly i think getting my shit together is a good first step.

The sun hasn't really risen all day. Obscured by the clouds and battered by the winds, spring is still a terribly long way off. I cannot bear to listen to the news anymore - it seems that everywhere around the world is experiencing some sort of a crisis. The refugees in Syria, the environmental disasters, biodiversity loss, complete disregard for human life. Across the world people are trying to tell each other to stay cheerful. It is not working really. The more people say, oh be cheerful, you know the more shit they are facing and they have to remind themselves that things aren't so bad. 

So, tonight, i will cook, probably something quite simple - i will see what - a bacon sandwich maybe. And then i will go to bed early with Ghin. We are all unwell. Ghin threw up today, Oisin has been coughing since the middle of January. After that i will clean the study. Organise things. And then i will organise my life, which is about to get very interesting.

I am going to do this gently. I am not going to be rushed into anything, If there is one thing i understand as i get older i have all the time in the world. It is ok to take it easy. To take things slow.

Ah the beauty of a simple night. Sitting here, in the half light, sneezing. Watching the darkness congeal into a single block of uncolour. 

No comments: