Monday, 3 June 2013

Sweet holidays

We lounge
I's the holidays so we get up at 7 am. Of course. I am now really really really tired. Having held things together for a few days now since the end of term i feel like one of those alien creatures you can buy in plastic eggs which seem to be a recapitulation of our time as feoti. Or whatever the plural is. Yesterday, right at the end of the lesson i felt SOOOO ill. I was suffering from hay fever and overload everything. I thought if i was a lettuce leaf in a desert i could not be more miserable.

So after three years the course i now over. I need to get togehter my portfolio and all the stuff that needs to go into it. Stuff is all over the place. While i give the appearance of being slightly organised, i am actually really a mess. I have a system of keeping things which is most of things belongig in that category are in that corner of the room. Once in a while i will take it upon myself to clean the place and organise it. When i do this i am ruthlessly organised then. However a few month may go by before i enter this state.

I got this coffee from TK Maxx which is absolutely vile. I have been rendered somewhat floaty by it. Possibly some mild poisoning. I was reading the first lecture of Man as Symphony of the Creative Word last night in bed (i am told that i am somewhat of a humourless reader as i refuse to read litflick, or whatever it is called, life is too short and i feel exactly the same way i do after having drunk TK Maxx coffee) and it was about how the bird is mostly a head animal. It is important for me to understand this because of course at some stage i may have to try and teach this...(actually i think i may not because it is just so unorthodox), but it was fascinating that the bird is associated with spirit, ego, the light of the sun, and therefore, it is thinking. If you look at a bird it is mostly all bone and the feathers are almost not there. This concept of the animal world - later we look at the lion and the bull - is such a beautiful one because it sees us, human beings, as an interplay of all of these and more, but in a spiritual way so that in a scietific way, the world becomes sacred.

Hm.... i think i will actually THROW this coffee away. Life is too short. I feel the left side of my body going numb and beginning to excarnate.

There were bits in last night's film where things looked unreal. Like cheap and tacky unreal. Little details. Like the cakes was clearly icing on cardboard. And Daisy's hairband was frayed at the end. I liked that i thought. Whether it was intentional or not, it was a commentry on the fantasy which we build to inhabit. At the end of the day it was all a bit of cheap tat. Really. Unless of course you can bring soul to it. And there was clearly very little soul, if any at all.

Anyhow i think i might try and get some organisation done, having blathered on about it now. Haven't decided what to do with the boys. Seeing a friend later on today. That will be nice.

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