Saturday, 20 April 2013

No life before coffeeeeee


Three days ago i went to school with no coffee in me. And i wondered, why was i feeling so miserable? Coffee, imbied by mystics and kings, by poor men and drunk with durian hutan to sweeten...coffee.

Today i said to my mom, i feel oddly filled with a deep peace. What do you mean my mom says. I have no idea. It's gotta be good right? I have no words right now for it, so its best i let it sit. My problem is that often the words come tumbling out and its usually all nonsense. So i think i'll just let it sit.

Going off to attend a Forest School seminar today. I think i' may end up missing the second half of it as i don't want my mom to spend all of Saturday on her own. I love this domesticity you know. The not doing an awful lot. I do so much during the week and have to do so much that on Saturday i take an enforced rest. We will prob go to the Irish Linen Centre in Lisburn later on. I am utterly fascinated by linen. I love its feel and texture. Really well made linen lasts forever. Really badly made linen falls apart in no time at all.

Inner lives are so interesting. You have people like E Dickinson who never went anywhere or saw very much and yet her poetry is pure music. And then you have people to have visited every continent in the world, many many countries and places and still you have a sense they have no inside. No depth to them. Do the people with the rich inner life miss being in amazing places or the travellers miss having an inner life? I think not. I think that people have their own paths and bring their own stories to themselves. In the end not eve we know the truth about ourselves. We are the greatest mystery to ourselves.

My mom is bustling around the kitchen cleaning out food that is date due. She asks me, can your rabbit eat this...bits of muesli which are never going to be consumed. This falafel, can i eat it? Yesterday she unearthed some chedder cheese which had started to become stilton. There is the constant rustling of plastic bags and packets in the background. It's lovely. I love that noise, of maintaining. Well i think i should try and find where this Forest School meeting is being held.

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