Saturday, 9 March 2013

Today was a good day

Being around my course mates is a truly wonderful experience. An important part of the course is that we practise the principles of Theosophy and Knowledge of the Higher Worlds. This means that people need to operate of a higher place. From our better selves, but not in a faky way. It's harder than it sounds i can tell you. We looked at the constituoinal types: large headed and small heade children, cosmic and earthly children, fantasy rich and poor children and finally squeezed in at the end were hypersensitive and hyposensitive children. We looked at how we could help them come in from a polarity to the middle as teachers and what we as teachers had to work on ourselves. It was absolutely fascinating but completely exhausting. By the time our speech exercises with Crystal were to be on, we were all done for. To Crystal's credit she did manage to wake us up. I was kinda dreading it, as i always do speech, for some unknown reason probably because i have egoic issues, but she did a great job and at the end i was wide awake. In fact i am STILL wide awake.

There is just soooo much to think about. To observe, to put into practice. It is immense. But the day began really well with singing with Anna. I was singing halfway when i just saw us in the moment and thought, this is amazing, we are sooo lucky to be able to do this, to partake of this gift. I know i am a simp.

So here i am in a certain white shirt, all warm and cosy, about to make myself ready for bed. Phil is staying with us, as he always does, and i had dinner with him. My will exercise for the day was to do the weekly shop TODAY. I was complaining to him how crap my will was and that i now gave myself a will exercise daily to do. Because i needed to nurture it. I was also saying how useful it has been for my life in general to do these will exercises. We chatted about different Steiner schools he had experienced, how we saw children behaving. I have to confess i have very little idea - or rahter not the in depth knowledge - of the etheric body, which Kindergarten teaches muvst have, so it is always fascinating ot listen to what Kindergarten teachers have to say. More and more i see the connections and the importance of keeping that whole in mind. I know i should not be so impatient, these things take time of course.

Time is of the essence of course. I was saying though that when i looked back on things, i had no regrets. It was a good run while things lasted and now, it was time to move things on. The evenings were the worst, or the mornings, but by and large when i am fully awake and active, i know it was the right decision that was made, and thanks to the sixth exercise in Knowledge, i am now able to stick t the resolution.

We laughed and said that possibly this had something to do with age as well. It was something i heartily agreed with. God i am EXHAUSTED. If i wake later on i think i might wash the dishes - great will exercise. Then i will unload the car. I reorganised the fridge and threw away about £15 worth of food. It is a sin really how much food is wasted. Pretty gruesome. I managed to curb myself as i went around Sainsbury's today, but really there is no excuse for wasting food. It can always be given away before it goes off.

Another exercise i did and have been doing recently is finding a balance between happiness and a normal state. This is as difficult to do as sadness and a normal state. Now THAT is a pue will exercise. Right i have rabbited on and one enough about this. Time to get a grip and go to bed.

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