Saturday, 2 March 2013

Cafeholic and brotherly love

Salt bistro on Monday

When the boys go for circus school it is an excellent opportunity for me to spend time with the other one...This was Monday. Oisin and i had early bird specials in Salt. It came to less than £8.

At the Jordanstown Loughshore playpark today...


The week has just flown. Ridiculous. I promised myself i'd keep Saturday clear of Steiner stuff and then i started doing my essay and uploading photos from the blog. It was not like i felt that i HAD to do just sorta happened. It is worrying when the will exercise is to NOT do the work. I am beginning to fit back into my cheongsam which is wonderful news. By the end of next week i should be able to sit in it and then the week after actually have dinner in it. It feel so lovely to be back to the size i was when i 18. Wow, that is a sobering thought. However the nibbling i did at Barista today on some caramel squares has probably not helped the cause.

From feeling sooo miserable a month ago i am feeling much better now. It was a very dark time - literally, but also i am not used to feeling crap about myself and there was something about last month which went a whole lot of way to making me feel that way. Of course i can't exactly jot down everything, but there was one thing i did discover. Firstly, that i am very blessed. And actually in the final analysis we are not alone. We are never alone. We are surrounded by people who love and care for us. It is good to after several years of semi committed nihilism to realise this. I now can announce i am no longer a nihilist. It was always just a pose anyways. Sanguine people simply cannot be nihilistic. That is the job description of the melancholics. It is up to them to moan about the half empty glasses.

If anyone is interested in how i emerged from my depression i will have to say: being a Class Teacher in a Steiner School, reading the Study of Man and Theosophy. Also falling backwards and wacking my head against the dresser was also quite good. Reading the article about the children in India's coal mines also was a very good douse of cold water.

Yesterday we went to the Falls Road swimming pool. Oisin and I played water volleyball. I wore my bikini in public for the first time in ages. It felt very odd. Normally i wear my serious swimsuit the one i do multiple laps in. However i have not done a single lap since i arrived in Ireland. I have lapped about in Singapore in the summer, but nope, it is impossible to do laps in the very tiny crowded pools here. I noticed that wearing bikinis is not the done thing in public pools. So i felt a bit foolish as well. I did so enjoy wearing the bikini though...i was thinking, i may never be able to wear one again, so i might as well enjoy it while i can.

The boys had a great time. There were several floatation devices they could make use of and make use of them they did. There is also a sauna - the sauna is necessary for me as i get very cold in pools. It is not a very hot sauna, but it is always amusing to see ang mos in saunas. I generally lie back and relax and go .... ahhh... HEAT. I can see it is a character test for them. I observe them to slightly parted eyes...evilly...The one chap i was in with was looking like a boiled lettuce by the time i left.

Well, i'm off now to play lego with Ghin. He has discovered the delights of Lego. I have to admit i can never understand why Lego is so wonderful, but my sons, like most boys seem to have an addiction to them. They are going to Lego land in Easter. Oisin asked me if i wanted to come...and i, pass. I will stay home and do my manifold assignments instead. And attempt to understand the inner workings of the bucreaucratic mystries. Compared to them, Escoteric Science looks like Sesame Street.

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