Oh it has been soooo cold and everyone has been so sick. After saying that we had avoided the dreaded flu, of course everyone fell ill. It was one of those things right, when all of last year i had a great time and then as my mother put it, the last bit of the dragon, saying goodbye...the sting in the tail, where everything which may have been nightmarish all of last year took place together at the same time.
I haven't written because i've been so ill and fed up really. But it has only really been the last two days when i've gone, well you know what, i'm not holed up in a Syrian refugee camp. I look around me and i have absolutely EVERYTHING i could ever ever need. My sons and my ability to look after them, fulfilling work, wonderful supportive family, amazing friends, my own health and the entire world to live in life in. And of course life is going to be sadder and emptier for a bit, but really, that bit will pass and then ... there is this lovely song we sing every morning as a school now...which talks about the passing of old things and the coming of new.
And yes it will most probably be painful for a while, but its ok too. One year from hence, who knows, who knows what one hear from hence brings.
I know that somethings must and will change for us, for me. I must think about this for a bit. One of the things i must remember is first, The Earth is My Witness - that Heaven has Eyes and is looking after me. Then i must remember the exercise in Compassionate Observation. And use that most of all for myself for the time being.
So...i have managed to also lose 5 kilos in the past week and a bit. A whole dress size. Which sort of describes the state i was in. But i have also stopped drinking - i used to have a glass in the evening and now i don't. It just goes to show really. Drinking is VERY fattening - it is for me anyways. And not drinking also makes me not want to eat. How weird is that?
Well, must go back to the class, but i just wanted to put a marker here. A shaky marker, but a marker no less. I can only be me, nothing more or less. And that is all i can be.